# Top ten morons in the outdoors!



## Mitchell Ulrich (Sep 10, 2007)

http://www.michigan.gov/dnr/0,1607,7-153-42199_50569---,00.html

*My TopTen "Biggest Morons In The Outdoors" List!*
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*10) *CO Jason Wicklund and PCO Cary Foster were checking a local lake when the campground manager contacted them with a complaint. The manager told the COs that an individual had been approaching several campers asking them to smoke marijuana with him. The COs contacted the subject who claimed he was asking around but that he was drunk and stupid. The COs seized several pipes, drug paraphernalia, bags of marijuana and a vial containing marijuana seeds..* "Hey Moron! It's a campground, NOT a Grateful Dead concert!*

*9) *COs Mike Feagan and Eric Bottorff responded to an assault complaint while on marine patrol on Burt Lake. The COs assisted a marine deputy with the investigation and arrest of a boater who swung and struck another boater with an anchor during an altercation. The COs administered first aid to the subject struck with the anchor, which punctured his arm and caused severe bleeding. The incident occurred during a "sand bar" party. *In the words of Rodney King "Can't we all just get along?"*

*8) *CO Richard Stowe investigated an incident in which a juvenile burned a mattress and proceeded to drag it and dump it onto state forest land. After locating and receiving a confession, CO Stowe had the youngster pick up the mattress and a significant amount of other trash on state forest land in lieu of a ticket. *Personally, I appluad the CO on this one because I'll bet by "significant" he was out there all day long!*

*7) *CO Bill Webster was patrolling Long Lake when he observed two individuals bow riding on a pontoon boat. After contacting the driver of the pontoon it was discovered he had two felony warrants and five misdemeanor warrants all from different counties throughout the state. When the counties were contacted they were all interested in having him back in their custody. The subject was arrested and lodged on the warrants. * Now don't you just bet he feels wanted no matter where he goes! MORON!*

*6) *COs John Huspen and Chuck McPherson conducted an investigation of several suspicious forest fires that occurred within the same area over 6 period of time. Their investigation led to a subject who admitted that he was responsible for intentionally starting those fires. *Hey Stupid! The saying is "Only you can PREVENT forest fires!" (#8's BFF?)*

*5) *On July 4th, CO Steve Lockwood and Sgt. Glenn Gutierrez arrested a drunken boater on Wixom Lake. The subject had his wife and two small children on the boat with him. The wife was also too drunk to drive the boat. The COs were able to return the family safely to shore and turn them over to a sober relative. The operator was lodged in the county jail. *It's so hard to find that "special someone" who shares in your common interests.*

*4) *CO Chris Holmes conducted fishing and marine patrols in Kalamazoo County and issued ten tickets for fishing and marine violations. During these contacts, he arrested six persons wanted on outstanding warrants. During one incident, a mother and father were found fishing with their children. Each was determined to be fishing without licenses and both were wanted on arrest warrants. CO Holmes took enforcement action and assured the safety of the children. *Oh-Oh!!! Could knock them out of the running for "Parents of the Year!"* 

*3) *While working marine patrol on Big Whitefish Lake, CO Ken Lowell checked a pontoon boat with a couple of anglers. When the CO asked if they had any luck they held up a stringer with a few perch. The CO asked if they had any other fish and they stated they did not. One of the men was ticketed for fishing without a license. The CO then observed two women paddle by in a small paddle boat. The CO saw that they did not have fishing poles but had a stringer trailing behind the boat. The CO stopped and talked with the two women who advised they got the fish from the two guys on the pontoon boat that the CO just stopped. They were the women's husbands. The CO measured both of the bass and found both to be short. The CO contacted the operator of the pontoon and issued another ticket for short bass. *Can't you just see this CO stopping in mid sentence as his head slowly turns, only to see that stringer of fish floating along behind the paddle boat? How do you not just burst out laughing at that! LOL! I don't care who you are...that's just funny!*

*2) *CO Lacelle Rabon contacted an angler who was fishing at Newburgh Lake in Livonia. The subject had two undersized smallmouth bass in his possession and his vehicle was parked on the grass with the radio playing very loud. The subject displayed his license to fish as requested and at that same time a Wayne County Sheriff Deputy stopped and inquired about the vehicle being parked on the grass and the volume of the radio being so loud. The subject was ticketed for possession of the two undersized bass and also received a ticket from the deputy sheriff for parking on the grass. *Queue up John Lennon!  "...2...3...4...Instant Karma's going to get you..." Just wish all of us were there to see that one!*

*..And now...Living proof that stupidity is not purely an inherited male trait...Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you m**y #1, Moron of the Month! *CO Kyle Publiski came across a subject emptying her trailer septic onto a dirt roadway near Search Bay. He didnt accept her excuse that the lid had came loose going down the road, as the lid was conveniently off and the spill was perfectly let out. Enforcement action was taken.! *EEeeewwwwwwwww!!!!! *

*Mitch*
 
http://www.michigan.gov/dnr/0,1607,7-153-42199_50569---,00.html


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## junkman (Jan 14, 2010)

Is the joker that broke into my cabin up in Gladwin.So far about all I have found missing is 1 duffle bag 1 garden hose and 2 extension cords.Went and secured the cabin and shed. The wife and i will go and make a full inventory next saturday.


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## dankoustas (Sep 18, 2007)

I think its the MOOD magazine that has all the CO stories each month. I was always amazed how many people they busted were prior offendors. Sounds like the penaties need to be more harsh for these people to "get it."


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## Linda G. (Mar 28, 2002)

are free for the asking on the DNR's site, every two weeks. Go to the DNR site, click on Law Enforcement, scroll all the way down to bi-weekly reports. You don't have to buy a magazine to read them. 

Great stuff, I run it in my newspaper as often as possible...my only complaint is that not all of the area sergeants do as good a job of writing down the reports as others do...for instance, the sergeant in District 3, Gaylord...once in a while, he'll write down a few, but then there will be months with nothing, and he knows it's great publicity for the CO's and that I run it as often as possible...I keep trying to drop him and his superiors hints to get him a bit more motivated...like this one...LOL...he has great CO's who do great stuff all the time, he should let them shine more often...


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## Mitchell Ulrich (Sep 10, 2007)

*[/COLOR]* 
Click on the link at the top or bottom of the thread!

http://www.michigan.gov/dnr/0,1607,7...569---,00.html


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## Ieatantlers (Oct 7, 2008)

Nothing will ever top this moron of the month award IMO....

"CO Kevin Postma was on patrol and observed a shiner driving down the road on an ORV. CO Postma pulled out behind the ORV that had no working lights and no ORV license. *CO Postma contacted the occupants and found the driver didnt have a helmet and the passenger had an old helmet with a spotlight taped to the top of it. *A ticket was issued for shining deer during November and multiple verbal warnings were given for ORV infractions."


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## Scott K (Aug 26, 2008)

Linda G. said:


> are free for the asking on the DNR's site, every two weeks. Go to the DNR site, click on Law Enforcement, scroll all the way down to bi-weekly reports. You don't have to buy a magazine to read them.
> 
> Great stuff, I run it in my newspaper as often as possible...my only complaint is that not all of the area sergeants do as good a job of writing down the reports as others do...for instance, the sergeant in District 3, Gaylord...once in a while, he'll write down a few, but then there will be months with nothing, and he knows it's great publicity for the CO's and that I run it as often as possible...I keep trying to drop him and his superiors hints to get him a bit more motivated...like this one...LOL...he has great CO's who do great stuff all the time, he should let them shine more often...


Here's a hint for _you_. We men are stupid and don't get hints. Just say it straight out. Tell him it's great publicity using those exact words.


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## JimP (Feb 8, 2002)

I love the ones where the adult says "No fish" or something on that order.
Then their kids pop out with "sure you did dad, it's over there".


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