# Wife Ultimatum



## mbatson (Oct 10, 2010)

Ok so what would you do?

After 5 years your wife gives you an ultimatum either you give up hunting or she's gone forever! Where would you stand on a situation like this?


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## wyandot (Dec 5, 2013)

Is this an actual or hypothetical situation?


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## Slim1213 (Jan 9, 2009)

Get a wife that hunts with you. So much easier. ..

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## 2SloSHO (Jan 23, 2008)

Shes gone, and obviously not the right one for you.

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## poz (Nov 12, 2004)

Befoe you say bye bye. Give her an ultimatum back, make her give up something she really enjoys. If she doesn't. Say bye bye. Or tell her no problem, and you have a new hobby now, it's called strip clubs. Lol.


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## zx10r2004 (Sep 24, 2005)

Gone !!!! See ya!!


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## Mr. Botek (Mar 15, 2011)

Just a guess, but there's likely a lot of disfunction that has led up to the ultimatum. 

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## sswhitelightning (Dec 14, 2004)

She gone hand down. She's looking for excuse because she's cheating on you anyhow.


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## S.B. Walleyes&Waterfowl (Jan 10, 2012)

Good riddens!

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## Anish (Mar 6, 2009)

No way in he**. Move along..... 

The right one is going to want to join you in the field or at the very least, have enough respect to not hassle you about it.


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## Luv2hunteup (Mar 22, 2003)

If she's not happy nobody is happy. Life is too short to not be happy.


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## field-n-feathers (Oct 20, 2008)

Sorry to hear. Maybe consider.......


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## jimbobway (Mar 19, 2002)

If you have kids work it out .It's not hunting season now so take her fishing get her hooked.


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## HUBBHUNTER (Aug 8, 2007)

If she's asking you to give up something like that, I'm guessing it's not the first thing she's asked you to give up and you're life must be miserable. 

The idea that if "Mama aint happy, no body is happy" is garbage. Tell mama to stop being a b**** and ruining everyone's time.


SSWHITELIGHTENING is probably right too.


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## snortwheeze (Jul 31, 2012)

sswhitelightning said:


> She gone hand down. She's looking for excuse because she's cheating on you anyhow.


Probably right, SHE GONE :what:

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## stickbow shooter (Dec 19, 2010)

I would tell her Good Bye.


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## dialed-in (Feb 7, 2011)

Don't threaten me with a good time! See ya! ...

If you love hunting and the outdoors and are married, she would already know this. There would be many other issues for a relationship to come to an ultimatum


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## zx10r2004 (Sep 24, 2005)

jimbobway said:


> If you have kids work it out .It's not hunting season now so take her fishing get her hooked.


I would never be with someone like that just cause I have kids!! That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard! Why be Miserable and stay just cause you have kids with her?? The kids are going suffer because all they will hear is yelling and both of you being upset all the time. That's just my opinion!! Life's too short! She's gone!! But then again I'm happily married!


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## Trout King (May 1, 2002)

Throw her stuff out in the yard...fill her old space with guns and gear.


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## Treehopper (Aug 18, 2007)

Chances are this isn't/won't be her last ultimatum...time to take stock.


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## sjk984 (Jan 4, 2010)

Bye. If after 5 years she is still trying to change you it is time for a change

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## Billy_D (Feb 23, 2013)

kick her to the curb, do NOT move out yourself. Once you give up your house you wont get it back, especially if theres kids involved. Anyone that give you an ultimatum like that is simply a control freak. My wife doesn't like that I go hunting either, but the second ... no... she wouldn't, she far too sure of herself and isn't so insecure as to try and control me.


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## glen sible (Dec 11, 2004)

Have her read this thread, that will show her how sincere you are. 
It don't do any good to go to counseling by yourself. 

gs


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## griffondog (Dec 27, 2005)

Griff


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## Next Bite (Mar 4, 2012)

I hope that's a hypothetical question, if not you married the wrong person.


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## hfitch (Apr 14, 2011)

Just a woman's advice....tell her bye!!!!

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## Winterover (Jan 22, 2001)

Where would I stand you ask? I would stand on the porch holding the door so she could get out quicker! :evil:


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## ih772 (Jan 28, 2003)

Any woman that asks you to give up something you absolutely love in order for her to stay, doesn't have any respect for you at all. *KICK HER TO THE CURB!!!!*


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## M.Schmitz87 (Mar 12, 2013)

Ahhw man. Sorry to hear ya problems. Cant tell you what to do but theres a thread kinda similar to yours. Check it out:


http://www.michigan-sportsman.com/forum/showthread.php?t=485592



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## pohlkat (Aug 14, 2013)

Bubye!! I like grif dogs response.lol 
I married into a hunting family. She gets it.


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## sourdough44 (Mar 2, 2008)

There is a bit of middle ground. That would be fitting in some family events during the off season that she enjoys. They could be short trips, whatever. If that's not a workable solution, it may be time to evaluate the relationship.


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## topgun47 (Jan 17, 2014)

I've had this ultimatum. My response was Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.


40 years later, and she still won't go.


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## ESOX (Nov 20, 2000)

It all depends upon her motivation/reasoning behind such an ultimatum.


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## chemo13 (May 10, 2006)

If you have kids you should try to work it out. Just my 2 cents.


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## Paul Thompson (Jul 16, 2007)

A couple weds, she thinks that she is going to change him for the better, and he never does changes, and he thinks she will never change, and she does.


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## Paul Thompson (Jul 16, 2007)

chemo13 said:


> If you have kids you should try to work it out. Just my 2 cents.


To a point, if it is productive. Toughing it out will teach the kids to overcome petty differences, however, if the parents are inept ignorant idiots or beating on each other, it does no child any good to see and watch family dysfunctionality.


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## ih772 (Jan 28, 2003)

Staying in a relationship with someone that doesn't respect you just because you have kids is horrible advice! All that does is teach the kids that it is ok, in the future, to stay with someone that doesn't respect them...and the cycle keeps repeating.


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## swampbuck (Dec 23, 2004)

I would do the right thing, and take the first step....throw her a## out. 

Second step, pawn whatever she leaves and buy a new gun.


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## Badgersbunk (Feb 7, 2011)

Nobody tells me what I can or can't do. Maybe that's why I'm single. I tried to stay with someone like that because of our kid and it eventually blew way out of control. I've been divorced for 12 years now and it was the best move for me and the kid(who lives with me).


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## protectionisamust (Nov 9, 2010)

Tell her fine..... I'll invite your sister :evilsmile


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## huntnfish2 (Jul 19, 2009)

She's gone.


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## jatc (Oct 24, 2008)

It depends. Are you totally disconnected from your duties and responsibilities for three solid months because "it's hunting season and don't bother me!".

I know guys like this and to be perfectly honest, they should have never gotten married in the first place because of how selfish they are about outdoor activities. Your activities need to balance with everything in life, and if they don't maybe she is just trying to get your attention with this ultimatum. I'm sure this didn't just come out of the blue.

Now.... if you are a "well balanced husband and father" and she still drops this on you, well that's a different thing altogether. Normally, at least from what I see though, it has more to do with not being responsible on the guy's part. Some chicks ARE control freaks though, and then you need to figure out if this is what you want to deal with for the rest of your life.


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## 1mainiac (Nov 23, 2008)

I have already been divorced 2 times for less when my wife complains about me fishing I remind her she met me in a bar working in a band I could go back to that. On the other hand if your serious I can't think of a single reason I would come here for advise on this subject. Most women make the mistake of thinking we really care. Some days I try hard to act like I give a crap but in the end I love my wife so if she said that to me I would probably miss her.


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## onenationhere (Dec 18, 2008)

If your spouse issues an ultimatum like this then there are some big time issues in the relationship. I would suggest counseling to get to what is really behind this.
With that being said there is no effing way I'm giving up hunting.


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## fishdip (Dec 29, 2010)

You shouldnt of married my ex!:lol:


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## sjk984 (Jan 4, 2010)

chemo13 said:


> If you have kids you should try to work it out. Just my 2 cents.


 
This is poor logic. my niece 11and nephew 7 ask me all the time why their parents don't like each other. even though they have a functioning home:sad:


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## fishmagnetmike (Dec 10, 2010)

Been there done that. Tell her don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. 


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## fishon-fishoff (Apr 2, 2005)

Im a firm believer in making a marriage work! Obviously there issues in your marriage that need to be dealt with. Nobody on this site knows really whats going on in your marriage but you and your wife. My 2 cents would be to do what you have to to salvage your marriage. And I don't mean giving up hunting! There has to be some give and take on both sides.

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## duckhunter382 (Feb 13, 2005)

Read the book the five love languages and then give it to her. Make time for her find out what her love language is and then maybe she will try to figure out yours and then you can work together and make it work. Marriage is forever and you put your word on the line for that marriage. Now that being said dont quit hunting and make it clear that your not going to quit hunting but if you are putting hunting ahead of your marriage or anything else for that matter you need to balance your life better and give and take. I know guys that destroyed their marriages and lives because they werent willing to give up a few hunts to make their wife and/or kids feel special and spend some time with them. That kind of selfishness will destroy a man.


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## ih772 (Jan 28, 2003)

You guys are a bit confused. His wife didn't say give up a few hunts to spend time with me. She said either you give up hunting or I leave...huge difference. She's one of those control freak wives that you can never please.

Good reading....

why-we-stay-in-bad-relationships

index of good articles to read


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## sjk984 (Jan 4, 2010)

Maybe he should post a pic before we jump to conclusions?????????. But I don't think it will help

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## TVCJohn (Nov 30, 2005)

duckhunter382 said:


> Make time for her find out what her love language is and then maybe she will try to figure out yours and then you can work together and make it work.




That sounds like something Dr Phil or Oprah would say.


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## TVCJohn (Nov 30, 2005)

duckhunter382 said:


> Make time for her find out what her love language is and then maybe she will try to figure out yours and then you can work together and make it work.


 
That sounds like something Dr Phil or Oprah would say.


The wife of 30 something years is sitting next to me as I type. As a joke, I asked what her love language is. To my surprise, she read that book too.:xzicon_sm


Years ago she thought I should quit hunting and fishing too. She used to rag on me and get pissed off. With a lot of patience, I now have her fishing and hunting. She even got a camo jacket to wear when going out for social events. She helps with cleaning, boning and grinding up the deer now. Never would have guessed she would do that 30-something years ago.


I told her a couple of times if she didn't quit yapping I'd trade her in for a couple of 20's. That didn't go over too well the first time.


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

TVCJohn said:


> That sounds like something Dr Phil or Oprah would say.
> 
> 
> The wife of 30 something years is sitting next to me as I type. As a joke, I asked what her love language is. To my surprise, she read that book too.:xzicon_sm
> ...


She must have taken some quiet time for herself to digest the message you were conveying to her. I am sure she realized that she was slowly pushing you away. When she realized that her complaint was really about spending more time together, she decided to embrace your activities, besides, she could now keep track of you a little easier. Now you have yourself a helper and don't have to do all the side work yourself. I like your tactics, you're a smart man.


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## duckhunter382 (Feb 13, 2005)

TVCJohn said:


> That sounds like something Dr Phil or Oprah would say.


LOL we studied it in sunday school. it wasnt as bad as you would think and It really could save a marriage.


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## bornforsurvival (Jul 30, 2013)

duckhunter382 said:


> Read the book the five love languages and then give it to her. Make time for her find out what her love language is and then maybe she will try to figure out yours and then you can work together and make it work. Marriage is forever and you put your word on the line for that marriage. Now that being said dont quit hunting and make it clear that your not going to quit hunting but if you are putting hunting ahead of your marriage or anything else for that matter you need to balance your life better and give and take. I know guys that destroyed their marriages and lives because they werent willing to give up a few hunts to make their wife and/or kids feel special and spend some time with them. That kind of selfishness will destroy a man.


Lot's of good posts, but this one's the best.

As much as we may like hunting and fishing, those should come after our marriages and children. 
However, if you're only out once a week and haven't really blown off anything that's important to her, than you guys definitely need to see a counselor.
She's probably not cheating. But she probably feels that you love hunting more than her.

Of course, I have been prepping my wife to be comfortable with the idea that I won't be around too much during a particular week in May when my turkey hunt is!


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## Davelobi (Feb 14, 2012)

duckhunter382 said:


> Read the book the five love languages and then give it to her. Make time for her find out what her love language is and then maybe she will try to figure out yours and then you can work together and make it work. Marriage is forever and you put your word on the line for that marriage. Now that being said dont quit hunting and make it clear that your not going to quit hunting but if you are putting hunting ahead of your marriage or anything else for that matter you need to balance your life better and give and take. I know guys that destroyed their marriages and lives because they werent willing to give up a few hunts to make their wife and/or kids feel special and spend some time with them. That kind of selfishness will destroy a man.



^x3 (I'll third that.) 
If your vows (say that word again..Vow) were anything like mine you promised through thick n thin, adversity and prosperity, etc , vowed to God and in front of the witnesses for a lifetime commitment. You both need to seriously work on the marriage. The world is sadly turning into disposable marriages. People get in knowing how easy it is to get out. Shameful. 

There is a lot more going on than hunting in this marriage but you chose not to share those details. Even if you elaborated, her story would be much different, and some where in between would lie the realistic picture. I'm saddened by the few who think you should split even if there are children but glad a few said (as I feel) that you should try to work things out with children involved. Bounce me from this forum if you must (duck dynasty) but by Gods design a family is a mother and father, married, living together, raising the children. Single parent children rarely do as well in life as children whos mother and father are married and living together. 

There was a joke one time about a 95 year old couple who wanted a divorce. The judge asked why after 70some years of being married that they now wanted a divorce. One of them answered, we wanted a divorce for the last 50 years but had to wait until all the children were dead. Kids will act like it is ok but deep down they always will hope their parents would get back together. 

These situations always make me sad. Good luck. Choose wisely.


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## TwodogsNate (Jul 30, 2009)

If she makes $ 100,000.00 and is decent in bed, ride it out. Tell her you are volunteering at a soup kitchen on the weekends and hunt your ***** off.....


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## Buddwiser (Dec 14, 2003)

You came to a public hunting/fishing web site to ask your question? Maybe the church or a counselor would have given you a non-biased opinion but I think you already know the answer but needed some support/justification for it. Whatever your reason for asking here, I hope things work out for you. Life is to short to live it while miserable.


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## duckhunter382 (Feb 13, 2005)

bornforsurvival said:


> Lot's of good posts, but this one's the best.
> 
> As much as we may like hunting and fishing, those should come after our marriages and children.
> However, if you're only out once a week and haven't really blown off anything that's important to her, than you guys definitely need to see a counselor.
> ...


One thing I have noticed is a lot of guys while dating will ditch their buddies for the girl and virtually quit hunting and fishing then after being with the girl for a little while or after getting married they turn into hunting machines and the girl is left wondering when did he start hunting. You just have to lay the ground work, I know my wife doesnt enjoy lake michigan on my 16ft boat so on our 10 year anniversary this august we are going out on a charter up in frankfort with her friend and her husband. Its give and take she gets to spend time with her friend she dont see often and I get to fish all while spending time with her. Right now she is on a scrap booking getaway weekend and I am home watching smartwork dvds getting ready for the puppy I will have in june. I hope the original poster is able to work things out because marriage is a great thing even though you lose a little bit of hunting time.


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## TAKEDOWN (Sep 6, 2013)

What he said up there^^^^^^^


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

HTC said:


> I would simply tell her that maybe if she lost a little weight I wouldn't want to go hunting all the time...but then again I didn't major in counseling.


And you would need an ice pack for that black eye. :lol:


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## QDMAMAN (Dec 8, 2004)

Two wrongs don't make a right.
You're worst mistake was in your vetting process, I'm guessing you thought she'd change. SURPRISE!


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## Robert Holmes (Oct 13, 2008)

The first wife want me to give up fishing and take up shopping. She is gone long gone. My wife now loves it when I go fishing and hunting she says she can get her things done when I am not around the house. What a great wife, she just hates it when I bring fish and critters home.


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## Critter Killing Addiction (May 21, 2013)

Mine future wife does complain from time to time about all my fishing and hunting but she never complains when all the fishing and hunting is being shoved in her mouth when I put dinner on the table. Therefore I simply ask her if she would like to continue to shove my meat in her mouth or shove the stores meat in her mouth... The answer is always my meat.


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## phantom cls (Nov 7, 2008)

cooner_jeff said:


> I realize we've got enough responses to the bogus post, but here's my .02...
> I've been w/ my baby momma for 4 years now.
> We got married, like, 2 months ago. (Court house $34. I'm behind schedule, but $10k under budget)
> 
> ...


lmfao, i like this guy. this is truly not the forum for this kind of advice. if it were my wife, she would say , what time are we going hunting or fishing. she is more then happy to help me gut a deer or fillet some fish.


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## walleye1on1 (Jan 10, 2005)

Just buy her a Brad Paisley album, then tell her you just took up fishing!


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## bobberbill (Apr 5, 2011)

been married 44 years. Neither my wife, nor me, would ever consider any type of ultimatum. Ultimatum's are a result of insecurity or immaturity..move on..


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## Gnarf (Jul 24, 2011)

Im 24 and not married. 

That being said looks like your schedule for hunting just opened up!!!


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## rgillespi (Mar 14, 2013)

jatc said:


> It depends. Are you totally disconnected from your duties and responsibilities for three solid months because "it's hunting season and don't bother me!".
> 
> I know guys like this and to be perfectly honest, they should have never gotten married in the first place because of how selfish they are about outdoor activities. Your activities need to balance with everything in life, and if they don't maybe she is just trying to get your attention with this ultimatum. I'm sure this didn't just come out of the blue.
> 
> Now.... if you are a "well balanced husband and father" and she still drops this on you, well that's a different thing altogether. Normally, at least from what I see though, it has more to do with not being responsible on the guy's part. Some chicks ARE control freaks though, and then you need to figure out if this is what you want to deal with for the rest of your life.




i too have know guys like this, they take a 3-4 month vacation from all family ties.... NOT acceptable. 

have you asked her WHY she would pose this ? 
have you asked yourself WHY she would pose this?

when my wife and first started dating (in the early fall ) I mentioned I was going hunting for a week (9 days)
she had a hissy fit !!! during the week i was hunting, i got back to the cabin and found a note on the door from her saying -- I'M SORRY, i acted that way and realize you have your own life.... 

she has no problem with me going, as I dedicate my self to the job and home life first.... hunting a very close second.. all chores/duties/responsibilities are address prior to leaving!


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

Mine only gets upset if I don't ask her to come along


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## kwelch11 (Dec 11, 2013)

HTC said:


> I would simply tell her that maybe if she lost a little weight I wouldn't want to go hunting all the time...but then again I didn't major in counseling.


Great stuff! I like this guy's thinking.


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## Bonz 54 (Apr 17, 2005)

I guess what this all boils down to is to know what you are getting into before you pop the question. FRANK


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## FISHMANMARK (Jun 11, 2007)

Tell her you were looking for a piece of ass when you found her, no problem going back to that.:yikes:


Some folks are just selfish. Whether it's the man hunting 24/7 for 3 months or the woman demanding he stop doing what he loves.


Find someone you can work with, there has to be give and take on both sides.



Dr. Phil voice off.


And always remember.... No matter how hot she is, somewhere, someone is sick of her crap.


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## itchn2fish (Dec 15, 2005)

I often wondered just why God created women? I guess it's because sheep can't cook...


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.


&#8213; George Carlin


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## QDMAMAN (Dec 8, 2004)

itchn2fish said:


> I often wondered just why God created women? I guess it's because sheep can't cook...


:lol::lol: Always remember itch, we're laughing at you...not with you.


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## itchn2fish (Dec 15, 2005)

QDMAMAN said:


> :lol::lol: Always remember itch, we're laughing at you...not with you.


Hey! I resemble that remark!!!:lol:


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

GIDEON said:


> Personally I believe that a lot of people here have their priorities in the wrong place.
> 
> From the day I was married I always considered myself part of a family. A family of two for the first four years, but a family none the less. before I was married, I worked from Jan 1-Sept 13. Then I quit. Hunted from Sept thru Dec. Then back to work. After I was married, couldn't do that any longer, Never missed it. If my wife had something important to her that she wanted to do, canceled hunting or fishing plans and went with her. Family came first. Once the kids came along, lots of hunting plans were canceled, canceled due to school plays, football and baseball games, school dances,kids being sick, the wife having a bad week and me deciding to stay home that week end. Family always came first.
> 
> ...


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## 1dlamb (Dec 27, 2010)

When creating woman, God promised man that good and obedient woman would be found in all corners of the world...
Then he made the earth round and he laughed and laughed!


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