# Thing one ponders while deer hunting...



## Firefighter

Why isn't a treestand called a treesit?


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## J D

No matter what treesit your in why do the turkey's always roost there?


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## sniper

I just looked treesit up in the dictionary....It's not in there...That's why...


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## dinoday

I hunt the edge a large swamp thicket and always wonder how many deer are right in front of me that I can't see


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## Skibum

Do women pass gas?


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## Firefighter

Should I sit here and wait on deer, or go chase the toms that apparently think it's April?


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## WACKNSTACK

Why does my finger always tear through the toilet paper when I wipe?


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## Get'nLucky

How come we drive on parkways and park on driveways?


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## R.J.M.

Why don't they make a portable tree stand with a toilet seat and a 5 gallon bucket


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## R.J.M.

Padded seat of course


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## Firefighter

Why do we say "I'm gonna take a dump", when we actually leave them?


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## lodge lounger

Why is it that the only time I leave a critical piece of gear back at the truck is when I'm hunting the stand that's farthest from where I park?


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## wdf73

Is it still called toilet paper if you are in the woods with no toilet?


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## johnhunter

That sound over there.....is that a deer or a fox squirrel?


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## NonTypicalCPA

Why did I forget to check the wind direction before I climbed into my stand?


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## NonTypicalCPA

And now that I'm here, should I move?


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## TK156

If I need too I'm sure I can jump to that tree!


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## DeerManager

why didn't I put a piece of PVC pipe through the wall into the ground from my blind to pee into?


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## old graybeard

I wonder if the bucks are over by my other 8 stands.


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## monkman

Hope that breakfast and coffee earlier don't make an appearance.


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## d_rek

Why did I eat the granola with flax seed for breakfast?


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## old graybeard

Reese's peanut butter cup or snickers?


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## BucksandDucks

I always get the most annoying song I've ever heard stuck in my head


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## josheupmi

Dang, that tree looks so much better.


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## Wild Thing

old graybeard said:


> I wonder if the bucks are over by my other 8 stands.


You beat me to it OG. That is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading through the replies.

Some good ones here though.


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## Trout King

I wonder if what is happening over the fenceline? I hope the neighbors didn't shoot MY deer.


JK, I have good neighbors and wish them the success they seek.


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## beerbomb

What's another word for thesaurus....

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


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## motdean

Why do I bring my phone to my treesit? I come out here to get away from all of that crap....


Sometimes followed by.....
I wonder if anyone in the LFTS thread has been successful?


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## Waif

Why don't my ears swivel? They keep trying to.....


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## DUCK LAB JAKE

Why is the cork on the fork?


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## deernutz

Why is the bow hand glove the only one that falls from the stand?


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## I'llbeoutside

Man I hope I am not here when that tree falls


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## U of M Fan

Can this ScentLok contain all my beer farts?


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## retired dundo

Am I wasting my time


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## StStutz

BucksandDucks said:


> I always get the most annoying song I've ever heard stuck in my head


Seems to happen to me every sit too, its always the worst songs too


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## SMITTY1233

I wonder how many bears are out there waiting to be ran
I wonder how many cats are out there waiting to be ran
I wonder how many coyotes are out there waiting to be ran
Man deer season lasts a long time
Wonder if Peyton has seen anything

About covers it!


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## Pinefarm2015

How in the hell could you survive out here if all you had was rocks, a club and at best a homemade bow. What would you eat? How could you even kill a squirrel? How would you make a trap from nothing but natural materials. How would you fashion some kind of structure to sleep in and stay dry? How *******' cold would you be? How would you keep a fire going all Winter? How would you deal with mosquitos and black flies with no bug spray? How could you tan deer hide so you could wear it? How could you make thread and needles? Stuff like that.


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## Pinefarm2015

StStutz said:


> Seems to happen to me every sit too, its always the worst songs too


Here's one for this weekend. :evil::evilsmile:lol:


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## Wild Thing

Pinefarm2015 said:


> Here's one for this weekend. :evil::evilsmile:lol:


I actually heard that one on Sirius yesterday ..... and I even listened to the whole song before swapping channels


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## JasonSlayer

Why do they call it hunting when I spend most of my time sitting in a stand? I am going to start telling people I'm going WAITING tonight.


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## [email protected]

WACKNSTACK said:


> Why does my finger always tear through the toilet paper when I wipe?


And why, when I think I'm done, do I poop a little more?


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## beerbomb

If a man is alone in the woods and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?

I saw that on a t-shirt yesterday and got a nice chuckle out if it...


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## 357Maximum

beerbomb said:


> If a man is alone in the woods and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?
> 
> I saw that on a t-shirt yesterday and got a nice chuckle out if it...



YES, the answer is always YES , 20 years of marriage has taught me that.


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## Jigawat

junkman said:


> That must be related to the rubbing one out post.:lol:


No, dropping a duece related


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## sniper

357Maximum said:


> YES, the answer is always YES , 20 years of marriage has taught me that.


That and this fine piece of literature Maxi..


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## Jigawat

junkman said:


> That must be related to the rubbing one out post.:lol:


No, I try not to rub any out in the woods lol


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## 357Maximum

sniper said:


> That and this fine piece of literature Maxi..



Yeeee upp. Normally I deserve it though, hell sometimes it's even intentional. Would not want to get bored or nothing. :lol:


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## canyard

Why does Michigan state suck so bad......go blue


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## crossneyes

Why are there still skeeters,when it's almost November


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## bmoffit

Why can't the weatherman get it right just once....


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## Pike Eyes

Why do I always think I need to climb this high in the tree?


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## Time to relax

I wonder what it takes to have a "Booner" squirrel?
Why didn't I put a drop of oil on this chair?
Ah, the witching hour....sure is nice of the neighbor to go cut a couple trees for fire wood tonight!
How many of these **** would it take to make a hat?


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## WillHunt4Food

I wonder if this deer will run closer to the truck after I shoot it so I won't have to drag it so far...


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## WillHunt4Food

canyard said:


> Why does Michigan state suck so bad......go blue


Why do Michigan fans feel the need to be so pretentious?


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## captainpaddlebone

A lot of you guys claim to play the wind , it's changed direction 3 times in the last 10 minutes here in the hills


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## Craves

If every layer of your hunting clothing is camo, do you become more invisible? 
If one layer of your hunting gear is not camo, do you become more visible?


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## captainpaddlebone

This app sure does help me sit still


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## Time to relax

How much property could I buy if I won the lotto?
Where would I buy?
How many hunts could I go on for $30,000 a year?


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## Jigawat

spikekilla said:


> Is it too cold to rub one out real quick.


I hope this guys doesn't hunt in these woods


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## johnhunter

When I was clearing shooting lanes for this stand last August....how the HELL did I miss that limb?!!!


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## maddiedog

Just hurry up and walk in already so I can go fishing.


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## Phoolish

Could I take a deed in hand to hand combat


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## Time to relax

I'm glad I let that small 8 point walk. My neighbor sure looks proud of it holding it in his Facebook pic.


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## TK81

From 20 or so years back:
Why did I buy that round of Yagers at last call?

And one from more recently:
How did my eye find that one stick dangling from above on the walk to the sit in the dark this morning?

And the most common thought:
Wonder if the perch are biting today?


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## Ljcarrol

This thread should have came with a disclaimer.. do not read in the stand, I've literally laughed out loud in several occasions.


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## Phoolish

Why do they use Velcro on hunting stuff. It's always so loud


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## junkman

Here's one that I ponder anytime I have a day off. Why does it have to suck outside?Like literally it rains just about every day I don't have to work.


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## Waif

Phoolish said:


> Why do they use Velcro on hunting stuff. It's always so loud


Hmm, like a bandaid removal you can hear...pull it fast or slow?
The right length pieces , you can try a snort wheeze with.."Rip- rip - wheeeee!"


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## kracker

Are there ANY secret spots left????


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## Phoolish

Waif said:


> Hmm, like a bandaid removal you can hear...pull it fast or slow?
> The right length pieces , you can try a snort wheeze with.."Rip- rip - wheeeee!"


I try to time it with the wind but it always seems loud. My drill sergeant hated it on our ACUs too because of it being loud


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## Smokin-the-eyes

Phoolish said:


> I try to time it with the wind but it always seems loud. My drill sergeant hated it on our ACUs too because of it being loud


Something's that don't need a lot of hold I will take a blow torch and melt the hook side so only a few of them hook in nice for flaps and such but something's u need the extra holding power


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## maddiedog

junkman said:


> Here's one that I ponder anytime I have a day off. Why does it have to suck outside?Like literally it rains just about every day I don't have to work.


Start working the weekends please!


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## junkman

maddiedog said:


> Start working the weekends please!


Yesterday was a great day to be outside.And you guessed it I had to work.If I would have had the day off it would have rained.


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## srconnell22

How do you "pass" a 2 year old when your lease rules specifically state that any deer killed has to be at least three? 

You didn't pass it. You couldn't legally kill it according to the rules in place for where you are hunting.


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## Phoolish

What if ppl went into rut


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## junkman

Phoolish said:


> What if ppl went into rut


They do, stop at any bar on a Friday or Saturday a half hour before closing time and you'll see.:lol:


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## Groundsize

Why doesn't my hunting partner ever take a shower before hunting?


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## Phoolish

junkman said:


> They do, stop at any bar on a Friday or Saturday a half hour before closing time and you'll see.:lol:


Take that and add you can only have sex one month a year.


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## Time to relax

Why is it called Manwitch? It should be called tomato past and bleck!


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## Time to relax

Under Armour should have a disclaimer." Not for fat guys!"


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## Time to relax

Look at all the geese flying.....wrong weapon


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## Joe Archer

....on the days when struggling to keep my eyes open while in the tree stand ... 
"Hanging from this safety strap would really suck"!! 
<----<<<


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## BucksandDucks

How long can I sit in this stand with our seeing a deer


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## GIDEON

A


brushbuster said:


> Why do people have to ruin a thread by throwing a stone?


 butholes just do what butholes do


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## Joe Archer

spikekilla said:


> Is it too cold to rub one out real quick.


....right up there with ... "I wonder how many tree cams are out here that I don't know about"?
<----<<<


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## 5333

Why didn't I buy a more comfy stand for these all day sits?


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## QDMAMAN

After reading Annie Oakley's FB post on little brother Ben's buck, I pondered whether or not November Sunrise would EVER kill the biggest buck in the family!
This year's family success post promises to be a doozy!


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## Hammer62

Man that blue jay is really annoying!


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## Walt Donaldson

How can I get my Wife the B1G ONE?


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## RMH

brushbuster said:


> Why do people have to ruin a thread by throwing a stone?



I noticed they are the ones who like to dish it out but can't take it....LMAO.


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## Hammer62

bet I could double lung that squirrel at 50 yards with my bow


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## 5333

How close are there deer to my treestand as I sit in it? Did they just watch pee? Couldn't hold it any longer.


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## Sasquatch Lives

Walt Donaldson said:


> How can I get my Wife the B1G ONE?


Let her go hunting with QDMAMAN?


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## Airoh

Things to ponder while passing out candy.
How did I get wrangled into doing this?


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## atp500

Wish my girl friend was here! Don't tell my wife!


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## captainpaddlebone

Walt Donaldson said:


> How can I get my Wife the B1G ONE?


Pull down your pants.


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## Firefighter

I wonder why hypocrites get offended by the truth?


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## mattawanhunter

Hammer62 said:


> bet I could double lung that squirrel at 50 yards with my bow



Haha my buddy always could, he'd come in with a squirrel if he didn't see deer, then I tried and missed a couple times, my field point shoots way different than broad head least that's my excuse, got tired of loosing arrows, them squirrel's shrink behind my bow


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## Landon DeKeyser

Firefighter said:


> Should I sit here and wait on deer, or go chase the toms that apparently think it's April?


If you are referring to all the gobbling the toms have been doing, I know what you mean. I have never heard a turkey gobble in the fall until this year.


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## Firefighter

Landon DeKeyser said:


> If you are referring to all the gobbling the toms have been doing, I know what you mean. I have never heard a turkey gobble in the fall until this year.



Yeah. Turkey's are goofy. I think I've heard them gobble every month of the year.


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## mattawanhunter

zer0 said:


> Does my base license cover feral cats? If said feral cat is collared, do I get a reward from the DNR, like walleye bling?


There's only one good cat,and that's a?


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## GADWALL21

mattawanhunter said:


> There's only one good cat,and that's a?


One in a burlap sack with a rock.......


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## justdandy

If it's called live from the STAND why are half the post guys talking about being at work?


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## bigbuckmiddaugh

I ponder! multiples I think this is b.s not seeing poo
Then what am I doing wrong?
Then wth is going on where the deer
Then I need to squirrel hunt but man,no meat on them
Then I could be doing something productive


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## ibthetrout

A little different that pondering, but sometimes when I am out there sitting and start to get hungry I start thinking I smell things. Gee is the wife making cookies, do I smell cookies baking? Wait.....I think I smell bacon! Man what I wouldn't do for a BLT right now. Then a fart....wait I smell chili, yep chili, had it last night for dinner! I wonder if there's any left, I could go in for lunch. When your farts make you hungry you know its getting bad!


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## Joe Archer

Seriously? I think I spend half my time looking at shooting lanes, gauging distances, visualizing the shot, and going through the perfect sequence in my head. When and if a deer does finally show up, I have already killed him multiple times.... so it just happens automatically.
<----<<<


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## srconnell22

As I did some walking around yesterday afternoon I counted eight treestands or deer blinds on my fenceline, I pondered what the cost of about 2 1/2 miles of 10' fence would be with posts and installation. 

I know I'm not the only one that has pondered that question.


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## Time to relax

Ah the fog is finally raised. Now I can see nothing a whole lot further!


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## ibthetrout

Joe Archer said:


> Seriously? I think I spend half my time looking at shooting lanes, gauging distances, visualizing the shot, and going through the perfect sequence in my head. When and if a deer does finally show up, I have already killed him multiple times.... so it just happens automatically.
> <----<<<


And you do that for hours on end? Must be why you always shoot deer Joe! I do that too, but mostly in those first couple hours of daylight.....then the mind wanders.


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## triplelunger

If the plural of mouse is mice, what's the plural of grouse?
If the plural of goose is geese, what's the plural of moose?


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## triplelunger

Is a single leg of your pants called a pant?


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## beerbomb

I try to daydream, but my mind keeps wandering

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


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## QDMAMAN

srconnell22 said:


> As I did some walking around yesterday afternoon I counted eight treestands or deer blinds on my fenceline, I pondered what the cost of about 2 1/2 miles of 10' fence would be with posts and installation.
> 
> I know I'm not the only one that has pondered that question.


Do you REALLY wonder about the price, or are you just rusty?
Heck, I know a guy that wanted to do it to protect deer he was never going to have an opportunity to hunt any way, and price wasn't an issue. You can't put a price on spite, envy, and jealousy.


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## Walt Donaldson

I wonder if I should give that new Asian massage parlor a shot?


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## brushbuster

I ponder how many rats will show up out from under the woodshed


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## motdean

Walt Donaldson said:


> I wonder if I should give that new Asian massage parlor a shot?


Of course.....Walt, don't go anywhere, please.

I hope you can negotiate a salary with Steve for posting on this site. You are a colorful character...


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## fishinfanatic19

How come I only drop something I need while in my climber?


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## Blueump

If this hunting suit is waterproof, how am I supposed to wash it?


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## GIDEON

Wow thats a weird place for an itch, how in the world am I suppose to scratch that without moving,..if I ignore it will it go away....or will it get worse....


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## 2508speed

I daydream about the days before leaf blowers were invented.


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## mbrewer

Firefighter said:


> Why isn't a treestand called a treesit?


Why does my defrost smell like a doe in heat and how long will it last? Should I blast up and down the nearest road like the crazy mailman from Funny Farm and drive all the bucks crazy?

Rain delay dilemma.


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## Firefighter

I ponder why it's November 3rd, and I'm chasing turkeys this am over deer.


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## jatc

Firefighter said:


> I ponder why it's November 3rd, and I'm chasing turkeys this am over deer.


That could be the sign of something much deeper and sinister. I'm a big "live and let live" type of guy, but when I see something that is obviously so outside the bounds of normal human reasoning I have to say something. You might need to seek some help before it is too late!


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## Walt Donaldson

motdean said:


> Of course.....Walt, don't go anywhere, please.
> 
> I hope you can negotiate a salary with Steve for posting on this site. You are a colorful character...


No salary negotiation as of yet, however, he hasn't banned me so I'm counting my blessings.


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## Time to relax

If crooked Hillary wins and takes away our guns, will I see more deer?


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## Time to relax

If I saw 15 yearling bucks last year and 15 this year and next, in 3 years I should have 45 bucks running around at least 31/2 years old. What a game plan!!!!!


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## firemantom

Does that chipmunks throat hurt after chirping at me for 45 mins?!?!


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## jayzbird

Should I shoot that doe or is there a buck near that I haven't seen or heard yet that came in with her?


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## jayzbird

Does the farmer wait until the last hour of daylight to feed the cattle only on the days I'm hunting?


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## jayzbird

Why is the post by outdoor mike in out of state hunts like crack to me and why do I have to check every 15 minutes to see if he has posted something new?


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## lodge lounger

How do people all over the state post on LFTS when I can't pull a signal in Barry County?


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## brushbuster

I wish I was in the stand and not at work so I could ponder some more questions


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## Bomba

Why do people feel they need to share every time they have the ****z on a LFTS thread


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## stickman1978

Bomba said:


> Why do people feel they need to share every time they have the ****z on a LFTS thread



Exactly, if you got dying rear end you should go see a doctor.


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## Yamirider

Before the early antlerless season and the late antlerless season and unlimited doe tags in our area we use to see quite a few deer on most sits. Now quite a few sits with no deer sightings. Hum Coincidence??


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## QDMAMAN

How ma


Yamirider said:


> Before the early antlerless season and the late antlerless season and unlimited doe tags in our area we use to see quite a few deer on most sits. Now quite a few sits with no deer sightings. Hum Coincidence??



How many have you filled?


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## Wobble

WACKNSTACK said:


> Why does my finger always tear through the toilet paper when I wipe?


Depends, are you a wadder or a folder?


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## 2508speed

Can the deer hear my stomach growling?


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## Walt Donaldson

Did that StateLand guy really just sit at the base of a tree facing the corn with the wind at his back?


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## Joe Archer

Will we still have a country when I get back ..... After the election?
<----<<<


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## lodge lounger

Joe Archer said:


> Will we still have a country when I get back ..... After the election?


Don't fret about it Joe. I predict business as usual in Washington regardless of who wins.


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## Yamirider

QDMAMAN said:


> How ma
> 
> 
> 
> How many have you filled?


Have not shot a doe in over 20 years.


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## J D

lodge lounger said:


> Don't fret about it Joe. I predict business as usual in Washington regardless of who wins.


 that is scary to ponder and I'm not even on stand I'll put that in the rolidex and get it out around 5 tonight


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## Trout King

I bet the steelhead are biting.


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## Fisherman6

Should have put sunscreen on instead of camo face paint...


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## Mr.jig

Wonder when the last time you could bow hunt on November 4th and watch the neighboring farmer cut down a hay field.


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## bmoffit

Why did I put that much chew in my mouth


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## Ruddella

What if things looked bigger the further they are away from you?


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## bluekona

How dumb bow hunting is when your not seeing deer. Your just sitting in a tree in the middle of the woods like a dope. ☺


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## J D

How sharp is my broadhead 
Wow that was stupid 
20 some years ago


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## BucksandDucks

Why the heck are all these people shooting guns the last hour of daylight during bow season


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## doughman

josheupmi said:


> I hunted the wind right today, but they are coming from downwind side now....lmao. The rub one out made me spit part of my sandwich out.


Maybe that fart will sound like a buck grunt


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## zimmzala

How is my coat both breathable and waterproof?


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## BucksandDucks

Really need to shoot some Squirrels out here


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## RMH

DRAIN THE SWAMP.......


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## Phoolish

When is it going to get cold enough that I don't workup a sweat walking to and from my stand


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## M.Schmitz87

Buddy heater or thermacell ?


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## Fisherman6

This climber is very comfortable...the sun is very warm..I think it's nap time.


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## B Smithiers

No deer again! Maybe yard work was the better choice...


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## J D

Holy christ what to do since I'm tagged out 
Guess I'll guide the three daughters


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## motdean

I sure am glad that the neighbors got rid of that braying donkey! Man, that thing would pierce the silence like nobody's business....


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## maddiedog

I sure am glad my neighbor got a braying donkey! That thing can pierce the silence like nobody's business.


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## HumpHunter

If I drop my phone out of my treestand, do I get down to get it? Seems crazy and impractical, but what if my buddy shoots one!? My wife might need me!? I badly need to cyber scout for tomorrow's hunt because the big buck must live somewhere else! I'm not addicted to my phone, I'm not addicted to my phone! 
I hope this never happens to me!!!!


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## mattawanhunter

maddiedog said:


> I sure am glad my neighbor got a braying donkey! That thing can pierce the silence like nobody's business.


Yes last night was a leaf blower for 3 hrs.
This am, Donkey, tractor, cars 1 doe and a squirrel, can't wait too be in the UP next week.


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## Phoolish

Why don't they make all gloves with a soft bugger rag on the back of the thumb. My nose is starting to hurt


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## zimmzala

Why is it that no matter which direction my stand is in i always want to see behind me?


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## zimmzala

Why can i hear that 1/2 lb red squirrel from a hundred yards away but a 150 lb deer comes from nowhere?


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## 2508speed

Man! Why did it get day light so early this morning?


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## mattawanhunter

Please shut off that leaf blower!


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## M.Schmitz87

I'm so glad that I had to mess around with cover scent instead of just practicing my scent control. First two deer close enough to smell me, hauled a$$ immediately... lesson learned. No mo cover scent for me...


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## Why aren't you fishin?

If a sharpie goes dull is it still a sharpie?


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## justdandy

Am I using my doe can the rite way?


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## plugger

If it's tourist season why cant we shoot them?


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## PTPD2312

If a buck has a broken tine does it have "ghost" pain like an amputee? 

Why is it so darn warm in November?!

Why the buck won't take 2-3 steps into my shooting lane?!


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## J D

I wonder how there can be people that don't understand the great enjoyment we get while we are pondering in our tree sit


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## OneidaEagle

If Aliens came to earth to eat people, would they start with inner city's first due to the fact of simple pickings?


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## Firefighter

I ponder why Hollywood, an "industry" rooted in make believe and fantasy, feels like they know what's best for the real America?


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## FREEPOP

Firefighter said:


> I ponder why Hollywood, an "industry" rooted in make believe and fantasy, feels like they know what's best for the real America?


That fantasy and make believe is like quicksand and it swallowed them up.


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## JBooth

justdandy said:


> Am I using my doe can the rite way?


If you take the sticker off and blow through the bottom you can make a fawn call or play a song


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## PVH

Will this carbon powder ever get out of my finger nails.


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## WillHunt4Food

If only I could tell the does and small bucks that I'm not going to harm them and convince them to stay around instead of blowing and causing a ruckus...


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## nashr

For the cost I paid for this ladder stand why didn't they put some foam in the seat cushion.


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## fishwiz

When is Rosie going to pack her bags for Canada???


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## 5333

Firefighter said:


> I ponder why Hollywood, an "industry" rooted in make believe and fantasy, feels like they know what's best for the real America?


And what makes them think they are the authority on anything or why we would listen to or be influenced by them? Are they all packing their bags getting ready to move somewhere else? I for one hope so!


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## Ol Tom Killa

How many deer is outdoor Mike gonna pass on today


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## firemantom

Will I ever see a deer again


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## Time to relax

I hope there is a whole boatload of Hollywood spectaculars headed to Canada including everyone from the " Chew"


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## QDMAMAN

Why Canada and not Mexico?


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## Time to relax

More rough seas the further north along Canada you go.


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## Time to relax

I wonder if some of these foreign countries will want there money back from the Clinton foundation.


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## Sparky23

If squatch walked by...would i shoot him...would i freeze, could one get squatch fever?


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## sniper

They say the black box on a plane is indestructible, so why can't they make the whole plane the same?


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## NorthWoodsHunter

Why does this new EverCalm deodorant smell so bad?


----------



## NorthWoodsHunter

What is it that Meatloaf won't do?


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## NorthWoodsHunter

What is it that Meatloaf won't do?


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## boomer_x7

If rage broadheads work so great.... Why isn't there an axe company using the slogan " it's like throwing a broadhead through a piece of wood"...


Who uses a 2" axe anyways...lol


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## Smokin-the-eyes

Will trump build a dam to keep the Asian carp out and make Asia pay for it ?


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## Time to relax

Wouldn't that just boil their socks if they shut off the Chicago River From the great lakes


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## firemantom

I wish deer were like cable companies. The could give me a 2-3 hour window of when they'll walk by my stand, so I don't have to sit in this freezing 30mph wind all day!! I just have to sit during their scheduled time


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## beerbomb

NorthWoodsHunter said:


> What is it that Meatloaf won't do?


That


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## FREEPOP

"God what a beautiful day/morning/night. I love this. I wonder how many more years I'll be able to do this."


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## jstfish48162

How can someone shoot a single shot at last light and be sighted-in?

Will the Cullens let me go if I give them my deer?

How did I get so lucky to have a wife that let's me hunt and fish whenever I want?


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## motdean

What the hell was that noise?


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## Chevyguy28

If this suit is scentlok, why am I smelling that fart? I wonder if a deer will smell that......o geez I should jump that's bad.


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## motdean

Is there any redeeming quality about Chicago?

...then right after that,

I wonder why Mrs. O'Leary's cow never achieved "hero" status?


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## 2508speed

Tonight watching a lone doe feeding 35 yards in front of me. OK no fawns she's been here for 30 minutes. I'll watch her for signs of alertness if any deer come by.
Suddenly her neck springs up looking North, perfect wind tonight, she bounds away and I get ready.
I see movement from the direction she was looking, get ready, and here comes a great big bear! 40 yrd. away.
I'm pondering all type of stuff about 5 minutes before shooting hours are over. The first thing I ponder is what the heck do I do now?


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## GRUNDY

Is tomorrow the day the platform of my treestand gives out when I step on it?


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## GRUNDY

What would happen if the tree I'm in starts to fall. Maybe I should take this safety harness off?


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## GRUNDY

remcorebond said:


> Why does the walk in always stir up a dump?


My Dad says that walking on oak leaves can fix the worst case of constipation.


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## motdean

I


2508speed said:


> Tonight watching a lone doe feeding 35 yards in front of me. OK no fawns she's been here for 30 minutes. I'll watch her for signs of alertness if any deer come by.
> Suddenly her neck springs up looking North, perfect wind tonight, she bounds away and I get ready.
> I see movement from the direction she was looking, get ready, and here comes a great big bear! 40 yrd. away.
> I'm pondering all type of stuff about 5 minutes before shooting hours are over. The first thing I ponder is what the heck do I do now?


I think you can finish this story in the "Sharting" thread.....


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## Time to relax

How can this morning be so perfect for weather and still not see deer


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## Mr.jig

If I put my buddy heater between my feet on this little bow stand what are the odds that.
1. I catch my pants on fire 
Or
2. I end up kicking it off and catching the woods on fire. 
Guess my feet will just have to be cold.


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## Brian W.

Why is my bow hook still 25ft up the tree when my climber is packed up and hanging on my back?

If you shouldn't drink and hunt, why does Busch come in orange cans during hunting season?


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## wannabapro

If I shoot one, how the heck am I gonna get it out of here?


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## Winter'sComing

I often find myself daydreaming about a super power I made up called "Seeker Vision."

You just think really hard about what it is you're looking for and everything else disappears but that object.

"Hmm, wonder how many bucks are within a 1 mile radius of me? I'll just use my seeker vision to find out."

"Well, the tournament is on the line. I'll use my seeker vision to see where the biggest bass in this lake are."


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## Firefighter

I wonder if anyone else thinks about the scary aliens from the movie "Signs" when walking out in the dark?


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## JBooth

a doe, a deer, a female deeBANG BANG BANG...... Never mind


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## eriedawn79

Why do i have to poop every opening day a 730a.m


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## BlackRhino

Thinking what can I change for next year because this year's hunting sure sucks.


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## ibthetrout

Remember now the things I wanted to do to my blind last year. Pondering what the hell I can cram in the door of my shack to stop it from jiggling every time I make the slightest move.


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## twolaketown

Should I give this grunt call a break? I think it maybe over heating.


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## RMH

Sometimes I wonder .............if I ever bought milk from the same cow twice.


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## bmoffit

If I should bury bubble wrap Under the leaves on this deer trail 50 yards out so I don’t get snuck up on


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## 65650

Who created LFTS? Seriously.....


----------



## Bucman

I wonder what my neighbor thought when I was in his blind hunting my ground.


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## stickman1978

RMH said:


> Sometimes I wonder .............if I ever bought milk from the same cow twice.


I thought the same about a molecule of water.


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## Jet08

Do deer get lost in corn fields like humans do in a corn maze?


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## dinoday

I ponder why I look at "LFTS" posts to see guys complain they've only seen 12 does and 3 small bucks when all I'm seeing is a million tracks, but nothing that made them


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## Perferator

When hearing very large branches popping and banging that leaves you computing how far away in the swamp that is, precise direction and how big that bear is.


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## eriedawn79

I wonder if the wife is still pissed i took day off to hunt today.


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## eriedawn79

if i stay till dark could she more pissed?


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## dinoday

eriedawn79 said:


> if i stay till dark could she more pissed?


There's only one way to find out


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## Crappietime

Here's me tonight on the state land in monroe .... is it even possible to jump more deer out on my way in? Oh look at this monster trail with a scrape and fresh tracks on it.. I won't hunt here. Everybody knows about this spot. I'll go farther in. Is it possible to make more noise setting up my blind? Oh my gosh where's my chair? Well I'll just kneel here (2 min later) screw it I'm going back for the chair. Couldn't they make these blinds big enough for a real person to draw their bow in? Should I have completely drenched my clothes in scent away or was just soaking them good enough? Man I can't wait to do this again...... I love hunting!


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## Crappietime

If the wind just blows my blind down on top of me I'll definately be camouflaged then... good thing I bought the Eclipse camo for blind hunting. I NEEDED it


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## Sharkbait11

1 shart later and the cornfield stalk idea went right out the window...no wait...cut out my boxers and resume hunt...ahhh much better..dang no deer tho!


----------



## twolaketown

If I just pee in my waders, would I still be scent free?


----------



## NonTypicalCPA

How come the day you take your truck into the shop for some work, and the day you have your wife's SUV, is the day you kill a deer???


----------



## dapakattack

Is that really Walt?


----------



## Rasputin

Why do they put dividers in the pockets of dress pants?


----------



## GIDEON

Is it to early for a nap?


----------



## finahol

Why was I happy to see even ONE doe in a sit before I discovered lfts...


----------



## monkel

If red bull gives you wings, what happens if a bird drinks it?


----------



## Crappietime

Is this ever calm an anti perspirant or just a de odorizer. Cuz it makes my arm pits feel so weird


----------



## bmoffit

What I’m pondering is.... is what happened to the good ole days.
When it was the norm to have a gun in your trunk at high school cause you were hunting 10 minutes after the last bell rang
Or knocking on someone door for permission to hunt and it was always freely given
Or sitting in a ground blind with your father in luzerne and he’d hand you his 1/2 pint of nasty peppermint schnapps to ward off the cold.... man how did things get so different.... I’m getting old


----------



## NonTypicalCPA

I'm pondering why there are so many stinking leaves on the trees in early November blocking my view of the woods.


----------



## dkirs

Why is the neighbor squirrel hunting in the middle of the rut?


----------



## Downsea

Damn it, It's dark again. Wonder how long I slept this time.


----------



## R.J.M.

Should I pound in a metal fence


----------



## Gander Club

Sat in my blind Saturday morning reading all the LFTS post because it was so exciting outside my blind and wondered, what does "LFTS" stand for?


----------



## MiBuckHunter93

spikekilla said:


> Is it too cold to rub one out real quick.


Anything below freezing


----------



## MiBuckHunter93

Trying so hard not to,laugh,while sitting here


----------



## dmrbigeshott

Monthly savings plan to buy my Lady an engagement/wedding ring combo, go on Vacation out west in the spring, buy the Sitka Fanatic jacket I've had my eye on for two years and a September 2018 OTC elk hunt....

Depressing to say the least!


----------



## Old lund

Why did the neighbor use a 3 inch wide hunter orange ratchet strap at the top of his ladder stand and leave 4 foot of it flapping in the wind lol


----------



## Smokin-the-eyes

My thermos keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold how does it know?


----------



## FREEPOP

It's a good thing the people on the other side of the swamp have 3 dogs. So when one takes a break from barking, another can fill in while the the other two get a rest.


----------



## buggs

Can I hold / pinch this agonizing "deuce" until I get home........


----------



## rz6x59

I spent a good 20 minutes today wondering just how big Bernadettes cans are from Big Bang Theory...


----------



## Deer_killer

Wish I could play like Slash


----------



## zimmzala

Why is the cell service better in the middle of the woods than at the cabin?


----------



## Jacobf

I could be a hunting show guy. Call it "not very good hunting" hour long show of me napping in the woods while deer walk by. Make people feel like there better than at least one person.


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