# Strange and funny things you have heard from a sportsman



## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

Taking a break from the apr arguments and looking for a laugh here.

Every year it seems I come across a real strange character in the woods that tells me something really outrageous. The person will truly believe in his mind that the story is fact. I think we all come across this type from to time. I am looking for the funniest thing a fellow sportsman has told you. Here are a couple examples. 

I met a guy in the woods this past thanksgiving that parked next to me. After the hunt I struck up a conversation and asked how his season was. He went on to tell me how it was his first time out because of work. He then went on to tell me about every hunt the previous yr. He told the story about how he hunted right on the trail that we drove in on. A nice 6 ptbuck had stepped out broadside at 40yds. He put his sights of his lever action on the shoulder and Pulled the trigger.....the deer heard the hammer hit and jumped before the bullet could hit him! That deer was so fast he jumped before the shell could go off. He swore he found the bullet hole in the tree behind him and it was right where the vitals should have been. 


A different hunter told me that the DNR would never ban baiting In Michigan. His reasoning was that deer carrots have something in them that make bucks sterile. His theory was that the DNR wants all the deer dead and hunters can't accomplish this on their own. 

I am sure I have dozens more...what are your stories?


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## CrankYanker (Aug 20, 2011)

"I normally wouldn't shoot this spike but it's been a tough season."


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## wolverines (Jan 29, 2007)

In a conversation with neighbor that thinks he's God's gift to whitetails, he says to me, "You know that a buck won't breed a doe until November 4th or 5th!!!" Apparently deer in our section have calendars...


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## buck11pt24 (Mar 11, 2007)

"The reason we don't have any pheasants is b/c turkeys are territorial and are eating all of them. If you want the pheasants to come back you must kill all of the turkeys out here."


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## sniper (Sep 2, 2005)

I talked to a supervisor at work yesterday who hunts state land near Hale and asked him how he did this year. He proceeded to tell me how he and his buddy went out on Nov 14th to fix up their ground blinds and both of them had encounters with bucks. One 8 pointer and one 6 pointer each....Then he go's on to tell me that he shot a 3 pointer the morning of the opener...He says if he didn't shoot that buck then some other guy will..He really has no clue that he is the "other guy"!


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## hitechman (Feb 25, 2002)

I was waterfowling one afternoon with my BIL on Hamlin Lake marsh in 1978 near the end of November. We set the decoys and pulled the boat into the cattails to hide. 10 minutes later a trapper paddled his canoe through our decoys and up to our boat and asked, "Want a duck?"

He proceeded to pull a dead mallard drake from the bottom of his canoe and said, "It was caught in one of my traps." My BIL replied, "Oh, a mallard." The trapper replied, "No, it's a duck."

We ended up taking the mallard and had a good laugh.

Steve


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## anon09082020 (Oct 27, 2011)

I was in a small outdoors store in the NWLP looking for bug spray as I got ran out the woods by mosquitos one year. I was making conversation with the clerk about a product that was banned (I think muskol made it) a while back. 

He said to me that it was banned because they found it caused cancer. He continued to tell me that the cancer conclusion was found by using lab rats in California. 

Then calmly and in a matter of fact tone he leaned in and said this gem.

"funny thing is you never hear of any Michigan lab rats getting cancer"


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## Craves (Feb 16, 2010)

In my first year of hunting many moons ago, I was lucky enough to tag my 1st buck.

The morning had been very cold, and I still had on darn near everything I owned when I shot the buck in the afternoon when it got to be about 40 degrees.

With tips from Dad, I was able to get through gutting my first deer & proceeded to start dragging him out.

Dad went ahead to get the truck, while I was sweating my butt off dragging the buck.

Just then, I came across a older gentleman who stated to me "That will teach you for shooting a buck so far out in the woods ". Then followed that up with " I have a heart condition and shouldn't even be out this far"

He then proceeded to continue walking out in the woods.

Dad showed up a few minutes later with the truck & a cold beer. I told him the story of the other hunter while Dad and I shared the moment of having our first beer together and laughed about the other hunter.

It was a day I hope I never forget.


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## A.M. General (May 3, 2001)

Guy at our camp after shooting a small buck this year..."Does anyone have an extra small buck tag in case I make an oops?"


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## Quack Addict (Aug 10, 2006)

I had a guy tell me one time that a longer rifle barrel is better "because it puts more spin on the bullet"

"A 30-30 has no business being in the deer woods"


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## ryan-b (Sep 18, 2009)

"That 4.5 yr old 11 pt had the best tasting venison ive ever eaten!"

Suppose its true. You can make anything taste great if you really want to bad enough


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## shadowman (Nov 25, 2005)

Plenty of stories from hunting buddies over the years. But something I heard this year from another hunter" killed that spike because it was a management buck" ! " I work hard and hunt hard and am not waiting for a booner"! Lol


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## triplelunger (Dec 21, 2009)

Some moron told me once:
"I enjoy shooting any buck, and don't care what anyone thinks"

What an idiot...

Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


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## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

triplelunger said:


> Some moron told me once:
> "I enjoy shooting any buck, and don't care what anyone thinks"
> 
> What an idiot...
> ...


I figured an APR remark would come up on the first page!


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## Chromelander (Oct 1, 2011)

I had a guy tell me he shot a 200lb button buck.


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## triplelunger (Dec 21, 2009)

DirtySteve said:


> I figured an APR remark would come up on the first page!


Yeah. The first response, right?

Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


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## Nocturnal Ghost (May 26, 2011)

Man! I must of saw 20 does before this spike stepped out. You know you cant eat the horns, Right?


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## 357Maximum (Nov 1, 2015)

" I finally saw a doe after 9 hard days of hunting, so I killed her" hear that one so often it about makes me vomit a little.


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## bowhunter426 (Oct 20, 2010)

Someone shot my deer during the youth hunt


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## schopie4 (Oct 14, 2004)

"I don't expect you to believe this, but the ground trembled when he finally went down."


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## 357Maximum (Nov 1, 2015)

bowhunter426 said:


> Someone shot my deer during the youth hunt


WOW, glad I never heard that one in person. Whoever muttered that line of drivel would not like me much after my response to that was voiced.


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## brushbuster (Nov 9, 2009)

DirtySteve said:


> Taking a break from the apr arguments and looking for a laugh here.
> 
> Every year it seems I come across a real strange character in the woods that tells me something really outrageous. The person will truly believe in his mind that the story is fact. I think we all come across this type from to time. I am looking for the funniest thing a fellow sportsman has told you. Here are a couple examples.
> 
> ...


Do conversations from LPDMI meetings count or just people in the woods?


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## jr28schalm (Mar 16, 2006)

357Maximum said:


> " I finally saw a doe after 9 hard days of hunting, so I killed her" hear that one so often it about makes me vomit a little.


Or i shot the only one i seen because she wouldnt make it threw winter


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## brushbuster (Nov 9, 2009)

I didn't use a safety harness :yikes:


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## dirtyfowlmouth (Oct 6, 2015)

I had a old farmer tell me 10 years ago that he didn't like the turkeys making a come back in his area. I asked him what his problem was with them and he said the did more damage to standing corn and eat more corn than deer and that when they scratch in a field it makes it rough and hard to work the ground. I just walked away


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

The youth hunter I took out this year got a shot on a doe. We waited for a while and then went to look for blood, I was pretty sure he missed. We looked for blood where she was standing, didn't find any and then looked in the direction she went. We followed it for over a hundred yards and I told him that it wasn't looking good. His reply was, "Maybe the bullet didn't kick in yet!"


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## mailmanmyke (Aug 25, 2013)

just about every 8 point or bigger buck that is pictured in the popular michigan publications or social media is a 125 -140 and dressed out at 205lbs and there is always that guy who sez when asked how he did this year replies I shot a BIG doe never just a regular or small doe


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## 357Maximum (Nov 1, 2015)

jr28schalm said:


> Or i shot the only one i seen because she wouldnt make it threw winter



It's amazing what man can rationalize away. Until it imposes onto another's rights it should not matter, but sometimes it still does. Man can rationalize killing another man while he carries an actual instruction manual that says otherwise. What else needs be said on the matter I guess.


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## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

dirtyfowlmouth said:


> I had a old farmer tell me 10 years ago that he didn't like the turkeys making a come back in his area. I asked him what his problem was with them and he said the did more damage to standing corn and eat more corn than deer and that when they scratch in a field it makes it rough and hard to work the ground. I just walked away



My favorite turkey story I have heard about a dozen times from different people and always told in a matter of fact manner. Usually it is about a coworker of his cousin or brother in law. It is the one about the poached turkey with the gps tracker in its rectum. The guys that tell this story the best add the part about the biologist watching the turkey traveling 75mph down I 75 on their computer.


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## Ruttin' Buck (Nov 22, 2002)

Fellow "hunter" at work...

"There is a big Mule deer population up near Roscommon."


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## friedperch (Jan 8, 2015)

A friend said he shoots the little dinky racked bucks less than 8 points but will pass an 8 point or better saying he's removing the runts.


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## November Sunrise (Jan 12, 2006)

I'd say the most common odd things I hear are dedicated to DNR conspiracy theories. One I heard last month was, "I know a guy who discovered a deer who had that disease but when he called the DNR they never even called him back. Make sense I guess since they're the ones that planted the disease."

Another guy this summer was big on how the DNR introduced coyotes to wipe out the deer herd.


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## November Sunrise (Jan 12, 2006)

The silliest refrain constantly heard on this forum is temperature affecting the rut - hot weather shutting it down, cold weather launching it, etc.


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## NorthWoodsHunter (Feb 21, 2011)

"The buck was so close, I could smell him" ...hunting 20' off the ground in a tree stand.


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## davewcrook (May 10, 2010)

I hear this all the time,does taste better than bucks? I can't really say, l never killed a doe. I hunted many many years ago in the up when it was a no no to shoot does,and it just stuck with me.


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## triplelunger (Dec 21, 2009)

I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal. 
Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck. 

Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


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## CHASINEYES (Jun 3, 2007)

She was an old dry doe.


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## brushbuster (Nov 9, 2009)

triplelunger said:


> I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal.
> Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


I love you too man!


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## U of M Fan (May 8, 2005)

A deer's guesstimated weight is usually good for a laugh. Especially does.


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## friedperch (Jan 8, 2015)

triplelunger said:


> I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal.
> Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


Shoot what you want but don't say that the neighbour will if you don't.


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## Bomba (Jul 26, 2005)

triplelunger said:


> I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal.
> Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


 Give it a break.......


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## Oger (Aug 28, 2008)

Got to cull the spikes so they dont breed......lol


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## Oger (Aug 28, 2008)

I have a buddy that insists smoking the sweetleaf actually draws in deer.....lol.......


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## brushbuster (Nov 9, 2009)

brushbuster said:


> I love you too man!


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## varminthunter (Dec 19, 2005)

Local idiot at work says he never has to worry about scent control because he hunts in a popup blind so deer cant smell him.


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

I thought this was funny.



farmlegend;4715466 said:


> I think there's a little constituency out there that takes a special sort of pride in Michigan being America's deer ghetto, and they're ready to go down with their guns blazing to keep it that way.


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## goodworkstractors (Aug 7, 2007)

triplelunger said:


> I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal.
> Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


Merry-freakin-Christmas to you too!


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## UncleNorby (Mar 11, 2013)

A farmer told me that the DNR spread poison by helicopter (at night of course) to kill turkeys and deer.

I saw a guy trailing a deer on snow, in the wrong direction.

A guy told me deer are curious and will follow the smell of cigarettes and cologne.


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## onenationhere (Dec 18, 2008)

I tracked that spiker for 3 miles before the blood ran out.


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## LabtechLewis (Nov 20, 2008)

"He was on the downside. That's an old deer"


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## skipper34 (Oct 13, 2005)

When I was young and on one of my first deer hunts, my Uncle from out of state who had never shot a deer got lucky and bagged a big buck. He had buck fever so bad, my Gramps walked up to him and found him literally field dressing his deer. He was trying to put his hunting coat on it.


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## UncleNorby (Mar 11, 2013)

I was rifle hunting with a small group of guys and one guy was a new hunter. I made my way through the woods and jumped a few deer on my way to where he was posted on the other side. When I saw him he was shaking like a leaf. I asked if he saw the deer and he said yes, he fired three times at a buck. This surprised me because I heard no shots at all. When he calmed down a bit he realized he had just worked the lever of his gun without ever pulling the trigger.


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## smoob2010 (Jan 19, 2011)

Two golder gents on state land while we were on our annual camp,mostly consists of campfires and beer and little hunting during the 3rd week of October, says deer numbers are down and haven't been seeing much this was his third deer they two had gotten this year. A little button buck the size of a good sized lab. Did I mention it was 8:15 in the morning and we just were headed to breakfast as they walked through our camping area.


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## UplandnWaterfowl (Jan 3, 2010)

"You can't have a dog at deer camp, their smell will get on your gear and the deer will stay away thinking you are a coyote/wolf"

This is from the same guy that wears his hunting jacket in a restaurant before going out hunting.


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## sniper (Sep 2, 2005)

triplelunger said:


> I love the guys who say they will "sincerely" congratulate a fellow hunter on any little buck they shoot, then turn around and work their fingers to the bone trying to get laws passed to make shooting that deer illegal.
> Some of them even turn around to another thread and say it's a joke for a grown man to shoot a small buck.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920V using Ohub Campfire mobile app


I love those guys to!..Sooner or later they will make this state a great place to hunt...Thanks for posting...


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## UplandnWaterfowl (Jan 3, 2010)

Guy next to me sighting in his deer rifle at the range was getting really frustrated and saying his new scope was junk. I offered to help and realized right away the problem, he mounted the scope with the U/D on the left side and the R/L on the top. Within 5 min. had him fixed up and sighted in.


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## NovemberWhitetailz (Oct 10, 2008)

ryan-b said:


> "That 4.5 yr old 11 pt had the best tasting venison ive ever eaten!"
> 
> Suppose its true. You can make anything taste great if you really want to bad enough


I can't tell the difference between a buck and a doe. All in how you process and prepare it.


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## motdean (Oct 23, 2011)

UncleNorby said:


> A farmer told me that the DNR spread poison by helicopter (at night of course) to kill turkeys and deer.
> 
> *I saw a guy trailing a deer on snow, in the wrong direction.*
> 
> A guy told me deer are curious and will follow the smell of cigarettes and cologne.


Was he actually trailing it, or simply finding out where it had come from? I have done this on state land to find out where they had come from, as they passed by my stand after dark....I wanted to see where they were coming from.

I am not discounting as he may have told you......


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## UncleNorby (Mar 11, 2013)

motdean said:


> Was he actually trailing it, or simply finding out where it had come from? I have done this on state land to find out where they had come from, as they passed by my stand after dark....I wanted to see where they were coming from.
> 
> I am not discounting as he may have told you......


I didn't talk to him, so hard to say.


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## motdean (Oct 23, 2011)

UncleNorby said:


> I didn't talk to him, so hard to say.



I just hope at this point that it wasn't the Saginaw-Gratiot state game area...It was probably me....and probably 12-15 years ago.....


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## PVH (Jan 16, 2009)

Friends father in law who used pine tree air fresheners in pop up blind as cover scent because "it smells just like real pines"


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## November Sunrise (Jan 12, 2006)

UncleNorby said:


> A farmer told me that the DNR spread poison by helicopter (at night of course) to kill turkeys and deer.
> 
> I saw a guy trailing a deer on snow, in the wrong direction.
> 
> A guy told me deer are curious and will follow the smell of cigarettes and cologne.


The image of the guy trailing the deer the wrong way in the snow brings a big smile to my face. That's good stuff.


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## November Sunrise (Jan 12, 2006)

HUBBHUNTER2 said:


> I can't tell the difference between a buck and a doe. All in how you process and prepare it.


Agree 100%. We have a bunch of varying age bucks and does in the freezer right now. There's not a person in existence who could tell by taste which is which.


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## ekbelt3 (Jul 22, 2008)

Saw a guy November 14 while tracking a deer for a buddy. He claimed he saw and shot at one of three big 8-points where we were standing that day, the week prior. He claims they were 30 yards in front of him. This exact spot was also where he was clearing a spot to shoot his gun the next day. Where we were standing you couldn't see 10 feet In front of your face because it was so thick.....I just shook my head and let him have his moment.


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## billmitch (Dec 21, 2009)

"If you had seen the way he ran away when we jumped him, you would know he's not dead." And hear this every year..."shot a big/huge/monster four pointer." And there is usually one that goes like this..."the shot looked good, but it was so fast"


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## HUBBHUNTER (Aug 8, 2007)

Guy 1 - "How much did your doe weigh?"
Guy 2 - "200 pounds"
Guy 1 - "Did you weigh it?"
Guy 2 - "No, but it took two guys to lift it in the back of the truck"
Guy 1 -


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## November Sunrise (Jan 12, 2006)

HUBBHUNTER said:


> Guy 1 - "How much did your doe weigh?"
> Guy 2 - "200 pounds"
> Guy 1 - "Did you weigh it?"
> Guy 2 - "No, but it took two guys to lift it in the back of the truck"
> Guy 1 -


After they say she weighed 200 lbs, that's where you come in with an amplified response.

I recommend something like, "I used to think 200 lb slick heads were a big deal, until I put my tag on a toothless old wench that weighed in at 275."

Don't be out BS'd by a BS'r.


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

Early rut, late rut or no rut this year always has me holding back a chuckle.


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## pescadero (Mar 31, 2006)

U of M Fan said:


> A deer's guesstimated weight is usually good for a laugh. Especially does.



Oh yeah.

If someone tells me they shot a dressed doe that weighed over 120lbs - My first question is :"You weighed it, right?"

I've heard a million stories about the 200lb doe... but after being around 100 or so deer actually weighed on a scale, I've never seen one even remotely close.


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## skipper34 (Oct 13, 2005)

FREEPOP said:


> Early rut, late rut or no rut this year always has me holding back a chuckle.


Yep, you hear and read this each and every year. As if the deer have a calendar that they go by to decide when to start breeding. Every deer biologist who has any inkling of intellect will all tell you that the rut is triggered by photoperiod, not by the moon, the weather, or which way the crow flies. The breeding period never varies more than a few days each year.


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## goodworkstractors (Aug 7, 2007)

More annoying than funny, but whatever is thrown in front of the four point they shot... Big bodied, fat, possibly two year old, anything to justify it to themselves


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## christophermpollard (Mar 9, 2009)

"One reason I hunt is to help keep the population in check, otherwise they will eat themselves to death."... "Look at this coyote I just shot... Just doing my part to save the deer heard."


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## FISHMANMARK (Jun 11, 2007)

November Sunrise said:


> After they say she weighed 200 lbs, that's whe-re you come in with an amplified response.
> 
> I recommend something like, "I used to think 200 lb slick heads were a big deal, until I put my tag on a toothless old wench that weighed in at 275."
> 
> Don't be out BS'd by a BS'r.


The funny part is when we told my son his doe was 200 pounds, he repeated as fact to everyone. When questioned on it he said "It was 200 pounds! It took my dad and uncle Jared to lift it into the truck!"

It was 86 pounds for the record. lol


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## NovemberWhitetailz (Oct 10, 2008)

cscott711 said:


> More annoying than funny, but whatever is thrown in front of the four point they shot... Big bodied, fat, possibly two year old, anything to justify it to themselves


Shoot whatever you want. But that does drive me nuts because I feel they clearly aren't happy with the animal they took so they try to justify it for their friends or facebook buddies. You like it? Shoot it. You don't? Don't! But don't shoot it so you have your buck and justify your decision.


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## goodworkstractors (Aug 7, 2007)

HUBBHUNTER2 said:


> Shoot whatever you want. But that does drive me nuts because I feel they clearly aren't happy with the animal they took so they try to justify it for their friends or facebook buddies. You like it? Shoot it. You don't? Don't! But don't shoot it so you have your buck and justify your decision.


Exactly


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

Huge coyote.......it was at least 50 lbs. 

I've weighed and skinned a couple, never found one over 45, yet.


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## Spartan88 (Nov 14, 2008)

Ice fishing while in college with pals late winter, keg of beer on the ice. Dad and his son walk past us and the kid says to his dad, "dad that's what you should do, just bring one big can of beer."


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## Far Beyond Driven (Jan 23, 2006)

At a tournnament weigh in, a guy bragging like mad he had nothing under 20# in his cooler. Still want to know how 5 fish weigh in at 64# when they're all over 20# each...


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

Far Beyond Driven said:


> At a tournnament weigh in, a guy bragging like mad he had nothing under 20# in his cooler. Still want to know how 5 fish weigh in at 64# when they're all over 20# each...


Must be that new math?


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## Far Beyond Driven (Jan 23, 2006)

Common core! That makes sense. 

My daughter got in trouble as I helped her with long division the way I learned it. Apparently that wasn't the "correct" way to do math. Seems to me math is as black and white as it gets.

We watched some kids a couple fields over shoot almost a case of shells at geese passing from a roost to a field. Some where maybe 60 yards, most 80, a lot over 100. We ran into them later, and the kid said "next time I need to lead them about this more!" while spreading his hands about a foot apart. You reached that conclusion after miss 10, 20, 30, 50?

Had another guy set his 18 full bodies out just farther than my 17 dozen silhouettes at the Fennville Farm. The birds would line out of the refuge on my spread then slide over and land in his better decoys. He missed. A lot. It was about 60 yards to their spread and the geese were landing on the far side of it. I finally knocked one down, then killed a mallard which landed right next to their zone. I reloaded as I picked it up and he saw it was a yellow shell and said "you're shooting a 20? Lead, hevi, what kind of shot". "Uh, #2 steel".

"You can kill geese with a 20 and #2 steel? I can't figure out why I'm not killing any. It's 70 yards to our spread but we have Black Cloud and it's good to 80 yards".

I was amazed that he knew he was taking 70 yard shots. Most don't.

We talked, he pulled his spread back and I let birds on his side of it finish to him. Turns out 70 yards wasn't the problem. Lack of talent with a shotgun was...


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

Sasquatch Lives said:


> Same guy, "Always load your shotgun with a slug, buckshot, a slug, buckshot, and then a slug. Of course I had to ask why you load buckshot after a slug. "In case you miss with the slug". And then why another slug after the buckshot? "In case your miss with the buckshot"!!!!!!!


I have heard that one many times.


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## hitechman (Feb 25, 2002)

2508speed said:


> And why would you want a duck to taste like roast beef?


It didn't, but he thought it was a specially seasoned and cooked beef roast.....probably because duck is dark like roast beef.


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## chizzel (Dec 6, 2004)

TKZ Outdoors said:


> I guess not from a sportsman but I love, "did you catch a deer yet?"


This one drives me nuts. No matter how many times I explain you don't actually catch a deer they will still ask you it every time.


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

DirtySteve said:


> Taking a break from the apr arguments and looking for a laugh here.
> 
> Every year it seems I come across a real strange character in the woods that tells me something really outrageous. The person will truly believe in his mind that the story is fact. I think we all come across this type from to time. I am looking for the funniest thing a fellow sportsman has told you. Here are a couple examples.
> 
> ...


I have heard a couple of variations of the the buck or animal jumping out of the way. An old hunter many years ago told me that when hunting with a lever action, you have to practice pulling the hammer back because a deer can hear the hammer click. A goofy ex-coworker told me that it is hard to shoot a groundhog because when you pull the trigger, they can see your finger move and jump out of the way of a bullet.


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## BucksandDucks (May 25, 2010)

TKZ Outdoors said:


> I guess not from a sportsman but I love, "did you catch a deer yet?"


I always say no...they run faster than I do. And then they just look at you funny


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## A.M. General (May 3, 2001)

Pier Pressure said:


> Because roast beef tastes better than liver.


And liver tastes better than goose!


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## A.M. General (May 3, 2001)

"When I used to smoke basics, deer ran away. Now that I smoke camels, I shoot any deer I want. It's almost like they are attracted to them! You guys and your scent control are crazy!" Same guy that goes into restaurants, changes his oil and hangs his clothes in his kitchen. Has never shot a wallmounter...


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## A.M. General (May 3, 2001)

"We will never cut a tree down on this property". Then the youth hunt, bow season or firearm starts and the chainsaw runs for a week. No deer show up afterwards. I'm like, didn't I tell you to do that in February?


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## motdean (Oct 23, 2011)

"Just Sharted in Pants"......


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## sniper (Sep 2, 2005)

motdean said:


> "Just Sharted in Pants"......


Lol...I could only bring myself to read a few posts on that whole thread...Brutal!


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## U of M Fan (May 8, 2005)

Droopy ears=fake rack


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## ForestvilleJack (Apr 25, 2007)

Helping a "buddy" track a buck he hit poorly with a bow. "Deer can make blood has fast has they lose it"

Another "hunter" told me a spike is 1yr old, 4pt is 2yr, 6pt is 3yr old etc.

"Deer don't lose their horns how can they grow that much in a few months"

Guys that see a nice buck and say " it had to be at least a 10pt"


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## Sportsman1933 (Nov 26, 2007)

I shot a nice buck behind the house a few years ago. The neighbor comes over to check it out and tells me the story about the one he shot at outback when his kids were little, 15 years ago. He really looks the buck over and says to me, "you know, I really think that's the same buck.".


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## sniper (Sep 2, 2005)

I wish you guys would stop making fun of our fellow deer hunters...These are some of the same guys that might have to fill out a Michigan deer survey one day...Might not be that funny then...lol


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## Smokin-the-eyes (Jan 4, 2014)

Oh didnt know u were hunting today have u seen my dog? 
My chevy shook a sh#%
i prob wouldnt have wounded that deer if i would of shot my bow in last two years


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## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

A.M. General said:


> "When I used to smoke basics, deer ran away. Now that I smoke camels, I shoot any deer I want. It's almost like they are attracted to them! You guys and your scent control are crazy!" Same guy that goes into restaurants, changes his oil and hangs his clothes in his kitchen. Has never shot a wallmounter...


The basics vs camels is gold! I can picture my uncle in deer camp telling me that theory as young boy.


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## CHASINEYES (Jun 3, 2007)

Wind direction doesn't matter.

Parking in the field you're hunting, doesn't affect your hunt.

Checking my cams after work at 6:00 a week before bow season doesn't bother the deer at all. I see them running around almost everytime I check my cams.

I just love when people who hammer does each year from the same ground that ask this question - " where did all the deer go?" Here's your sign.


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## Chromelander (Oct 1, 2011)

I was hunting with a guys years ago and he said. You only want to shoot a deer when its head is down eating something. I said "why" ? He said cause deer can't hear anything while there eating.


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## Pier Pressure (Dec 21, 2008)

Not "funny" but worth sharing. From my archery shop days.....

Guy comes in to have his bowstring changed the evening of September 30th and says "Make it shoot straight. I'm going hunting in the morning".....


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## trophy18 (Aug 14, 2011)

My uncle told me the only way we're gonna get big bucks is if we shoot all the does.


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## polish.polka.prince (Feb 23, 2014)

dude said he could place his pop-up stand in pre-season so well that bucks would stick there heads into the windows and he had to smack them with a stick.

also said he was so observant that on rides up I-75 to hunt he once saw a black leopard, and once a monkey! (aprartment handyman)

old friend said ducks are greasy and taste like liver so you cant eat them. he also shot a bear in ontario- couldn't eat it because it pee'd all over itself when shot so he gave the meat to the outfitter.

non-hunting neighbor came over and bragged about his gun safety skills, shot some rounds out the window with long-barreled-pistol, then stuck the barrel into his belly and swung it like a golf club, i said what the heck are you doing, he saids its ok, its not loaded!!


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## polish.polka.prince (Feb 23, 2014)

the son of the man in the pistol-in-belly story hunted with me for his first time, 25 year old, as we chatted in the dark on the two-track, he placed the barrel of his loaded gun on his boot and rested his arm on the stock-butt. i said, hey, what are you doing, he said, its no problem, i have the safety on!!!


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## Jager Pro (Nov 8, 2013)

bmoffit said:


> I hate to admit it but when I first started hunting that's how I loaded my shot gun. Took me a year or two to realize that it was about asinine!!!


Sometimes when I go hiking in the bear woods I bring my shotgun with me. I figured it would be best to have my first two shots as 00 buck and the third one a slug. So for quite a while I would put two buckshot shells in and then put a slug in last, well after a time I finally realized that loading the slug shell last really made it my second shot.


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## Huntmich (Sep 4, 2008)

polish.polka.prince said:


> the son of the man in the pistol-in-belly story hunted with me for his first time, 25 year old, as we chatted in the dark on the two-track, he placed the barrel of his loaded gun on his boot and rested his arm on the stock-butt. i said, hey, what are you doing, he said, its no problem, i have the safety on!!!


My uncle did this while hunting before my time. My dad said they were standing around and heard a round go off. Everyone looked around trying to figure out who shot, when my uncle realized it was him after a few seconds. Shot his big toe off


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## BlackRhino (Feb 21, 2005)

Did you get YOUR buck?


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## buck snort (Nov 9, 2007)

petronius said:


> I have heard a couple of variations of the the buck or animal jumping out of the way. An old hunter many years ago told me that when hunting with a lever action, you have to practice pulling the hammer back because a deer can hear the hammer click. A goofy ex-coworker told me that it is hard to shoot a groundhog because when you pull the trigger, they can see your finger move and jump out of the way of a bullet.


Obviously you have never hunted with a lever action, the old timer is right. If the deer is close and you cock the hammer it is possible for the deer to hear it.


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## 357Maximum (Nov 1, 2015)

buck snort said:


> Obviously you have never hunted with a lever action, the old timer is right. If the deer is close and you cock the hammer it is possible for the deer to hear it.



Put a little pressure on the trigger as you bring that hammer back and it will not do that near as bad or not at all depending on make......................takes practice.


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## buck snort (Nov 9, 2007)

357Maximum said:


> Put a little pressure on the trigger as you bring that hammer back and it will not do that near as bad or not at all depending on make......................takes practice.


I know that and agree 100% but the OP stated that an old timer told him he had to practice pulling the hammer back so the deer would not hear it which is 100% true.


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## 357Maximum (Nov 1, 2015)

buck snort said:


> I know that and agree 100% but the OP stated that an old timer told him he had to practice pulling the hammer back so the deer would not hear it which is 100% true.


Gotcha, I read it different than you meant it. COmputers and inflection ya know. :lol:


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

polish.polka.prince said:


> the son of the man in the pistol-in-belly story hunted with me for his first time, 25 year old, as we chatted in the dark on the two-track, he placed the barrel of his loaded gun on his boot and rested his arm on the stock-butt. i said, hey, what are you doing, he said, its no problem, i have the safety on!!!


I know a skeet shooter that used to rest the barell on the toe of his boot. One day he shot his toe off. Oh yeah, he claimed he didn't know it was loaded.


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## Mr. Botek (Mar 15, 2011)

An uncle of mine by marriage, known to all in the family as The Village Idiot, was telling his bow hunting story. Saw some nice does he said and could hear the 10 point behind him. I asked if he saw it and he replied no. I asked how did he know it was a 10 point. Immediate change of subject!


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## bowhunter426 (Oct 20, 2010)

Accidentally discharged while cleaning. Hear it a lot on the news.


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## jr28schalm (Mar 16, 2006)

I had a apprentice i hired tell me he gets a bear tag every year in michigan.....lmfao I told him i usualy get the elk tag instead


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## JVoutdoors (Sep 23, 2013)

I have had more than one guy go on and on about how they can age deer by trail cams and seeing them on the hoof. Their disclaimer is oh it may have been a late fawn, early fawn, genetics, feed, the winter.


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## jr28schalm (Mar 16, 2006)

JVoutdoors said:


> I have had more than one guy go on and on about how they can age deer by trail cams and seeing them on the hoof. Their disclaimer is oh it may have been a late fawn, early fawn, genetics, feed, the winter.


 I thought everyone on here could do that


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

bowhunter426 said:


> Accidentally discharged while cleaning. Hear it a lot on the news.


Yeah, that is the excuse used, but for the life of me, I can not understand that one. How can it discharge while cleaning? Isn't the gun supposed to be unloaded first? Don't these numb skulls know that? 




jr28schalm said:


> I had a apprentice i hired tell me he gets a bear tag every year in michigan.....lmfao I told him i usualy get the elk tag instead


Priceless.


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## buck snort (Nov 9, 2007)

jr28schalm said:


> I had a apprentice i hired tell me he gets a bear tag every year in michigan.....lmfao I told him i usualy get the elk tag instead


It is possible 3rd season Bergland unit to get a tag every year. Lmfao.


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## buck snort (Nov 9, 2007)

Maybe we should start a thread about researching what people tell them, some of it is true.


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## tmilldrummer (Feb 7, 2012)

Had a guy tell me about his Dad shooting a 375 lb doe... He got a shoulder mount and the taxidermist had to use an elk form. Another guy talked about the monster buck they had been hunting for 18 years.


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## ryan-b (Sep 18, 2009)

HUBBHUNTER2 said:


> I can't tell the difference between a buck and a doe. All in how you process and prepare it.


Shoot something 1.5 and under you will notice the difference.


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## hypox (Jan 23, 2000)

ryan-b said:


> Shoot something 1.5 and under you will notice the difference.


So if they have a milk mustache they taste better?


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## Muskegonbow (Dec 31, 2006)

buck snort said:


> It is possible 3rd season Bergland unit to get a tag every year. Lmfao.


Yup. My buddy gets one every year in western U.P.


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## ryan-b (Sep 18, 2009)

hypox said:


> So if they have a milk mustache they taste better?


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## Scott K (Aug 26, 2008)

bowhunter426 said:


> Accidentally discharged while cleaning. Hear it a lot on the news.


Or I was doing xxxx and "it just went off"

Complete BS obviously.


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## JVoutdoors (Sep 23, 2013)

hypox said:


> So if they have a milk mustache they taste better?


We called that veal on the farm.


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## Petronius (Oct 13, 2010)

jr28schalm said:


> I had a apprentice i hired tell me he gets a bear tag every year in michigan.....lmfao I told him i usualy get the elk tag instead


I see that you are located in Macomb. Did the apprentice tell you where he bear hunts? I'm just wondering if he traveled to the western UP to do it or if he claimed to hunt in the Lower.


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## mihunter (Oct 7, 2002)

Buddy told me he shoots little bucks because the little bucks run the big bucks off the property. 

Guy I know bought a bag of frozen corn niblets and made a trail going from private land to the state land he was hunting on.

Can't make this stuff up!


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## hitechman (Feb 25, 2002)

My mom used to hunt with us during my teens and up until I was 20. She only went for the socialization and to please my father.

I remember the first year I hunted (back in the 60's)--she went off one direction (me another) and carefully wadded up a Kleenex and dropped it on the ground about every 20 feet, so that she could follow them to find her way back out from her stand. She always left her stand before dark so she could see those Kleenex, and she picked everyone up on her way out.

5-6 years later, she was out (still doing the Kleenex thing), and it snowed 2-3 inches while we were sitting (ground was bare when we walked in).

It got dark and no mom at the truck. Dad and I had to go find her. She actually stayed in her stand and waited for us. She had shot a small buck, pointed to where it was, and dad and I gutted it as she watched. That was the last year she deer hunted.

Steve


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## timberdoodle528 (Nov 25, 2003)

"There wasn't a rut this year"

Another one, years ago one of our neighbors let someone hunt his place. The guy shoots at a buck, and says "I don't know how I missed it, but I guess I did since it ran away"


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## timberdoodle528 (Nov 25, 2003)

One lady at work told me that it's hunters fault that there are so many deer hit by cars in November. I said how do you figure that? "Because all the hunters are in the woods and the deer have nowhere else to be but out in the road"
Ugh...


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## timberdoodle528 (Nov 25, 2003)

Forgot, my all-time favorite thing ever said.. "The best time to hunt is when we turn the clocks back... it confuses the deer, they don't know what's going on and they're running around like crazy"
Lol... the guy was serious.


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## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

timberdoodle528 said:


> "There wasn't a rut this year"
> 
> Another one, years ago one of our neighbors let someone hunt his place. The guy shoots at a buck, and says "I don't know how I missed it, but I guess I did since it ran away"


Good stuff.... I heard the rut didn't happen line yesterday.

I had an uncle that had the same belief about missing when the deer ran off. He rifled hunted for yrs thinking he missed alot of deer. He got permission from a farmer who watched him from the house with binnoculars. He "missed" two deer one morning before dropping a third. As he went to the house the farmer asked him about the other 2 he shot. The farmer took him out and showed him that he killed all 3 deer. He told me this story and asked me if I had ever heard of such a thing. A deer could actually run off after being hit with a rifle!


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## DirtySteve (Apr 9, 2006)

timberdoodle528 said:


> One lady at work told me that it's hunters fault that there are so many deer hit by cars in November. I said how do you figure that? "Because all the hunters are in the woods and the deer have nowhere else to be but out in the road"
> Ugh...



Another one I have heard. a coworker that was an anti hunter type told me this. Her theory was that the hunters were out chasing the deer around in the woods and it makes them run into the streets. 

I politely told her that hunters generally sit in the woods and don't chase them. I also pointed out the fact that a huge majority of the accidents happen at night.....hunters are out of the woods at dark. She didn't have much to say to that.


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## Spartan88 (Nov 14, 2008)

TKZ Outdoors said:


> I guess not from a sportsman but I love, "did you catch a deer yet?"


My grandma used to ask me that.


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## jr28schalm (Mar 16, 2006)

Yesterday my neighbor got a buck in macomb county, so me and my 3 year old daughter went over to congrat them............She said that's a baby reindeer ...lol


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## NovemberWhitetailz (Oct 10, 2008)

ryan-b said:


> Shoot something 1.5 and under you will notice the difference.


I have.... many times in my life. Zero difference


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## Beartreed (May 8, 2008)

Guy I know says he was ready to shoot a buck on his bait
pile til a cow came along and scared it off. Anythings possible but nobody around was missing a cow


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

I ran into the neighbor just before gun season. We were talking deer and he asked if I had seen the ten point. I told him no, haven't seen him yet but have you seen that big six. His reply was quick, "He'll be bigger next year". It was obvious he was associating points with age and completely ignored me when I said it's 18-20" wide. His son was there and by his look, I think he understood.


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## Corey K (Dec 11, 2009)

The buck was so big, it had to be at least a 10 or 12pt. 

I seen 3 doe tonight (instead of does)....


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## jr28schalm (Mar 16, 2006)

petronius said:


> I see that you are located in Macomb. Did the apprentice tell you where he bear hunts? I'm just wondering if he traveled to the western UP to do it or if he claimed to hunt in the Lower.


He said up.. And i asked him where he bought tag he said meijers man


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## Chromelander (Oct 1, 2011)

TROUT NINJA said:


> This was my buddies first year bow hunting one day we got back to camp he tells me he could see a tree moving and he's pretty sure a buck was making a rub. I might have believed him if there wasn't 30mph winds that day
> 
> Another time I had a guy tell me he watched a buck make a rake and a scrub
> 
> This year gun opener a guy stops at camp and starts telling us about the deer he shot that morning. he was pimped out from head to toe fresh white nike's a white hoodie and a big silver chain, says it was his first time hunting and his buddies put him in a spot. just before light he could see a deer and it had 3 on 1 side so he shot. Well when he showed us the pic I immediately relized he shot the monster 11pt that my uncle had been after all bow season. Im happy for the guy, but it amazes me how much hard work and dedication some people put into harvesting a trophy buck and then slim shady shows up and kills the buck of a lifetime having spent all of a half hour in the woods. Not to mention it was on state land. I don't think he really relized what he had.


My buddy went to pike county Illinois this year on a corporate outing. 4 guys in camp, 3 are die hard great hunters. 1 guy that had never hunted before. 1st morning the newbie shoots a monster, the other 3 never got a deer. Beginners luck I guess


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## FREEPOP (Apr 11, 2002)

A guy we used to go to Colorado with had a bad habit of hitting them "a little far back". He said on more than one occasion "There's a lot of blood in that part of the guts" :lol:


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## Jager Pro (Nov 8, 2013)

Some yahoo told me that I have to buy my license before I shoot my bucks. The same guy also tried telling me that I couldn't use my wife's tags! I couldn't believe him, what's the point of having her go through hunters safety if I can't borrow her tags???


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## Richard Cranium (Feb 27, 2008)

A.M. General said:


> Classic one here..."A woman's used tampon is the best attractant for rutting bucks. Better than anything you can buy in a store!"


I went hunting with a friend of mine several years ago and when i got to his stand there were about 2 dozen pink panty liners scattered all over the ground!


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## Brian W. (Dec 10, 2002)

Years ago hunting Grayling as a teenager, my buddy an I were walking down a two track. We ran into a couple old timers. We aways stop to here the stories. One old fella dressed in black and plaid soo wool. You could tell he was the real McCoy deer hunter from days gone by. Had a bottle of hooch in one pocket, a ring of bologna in the other. He had our full attention as he told his stories. All of a sudden in the middle of a story he stops and says "hey smell that?" Were like " what" he says " gut shot, I smell a gut shot deer". We say, "you can't smell a gut shot deer". He says " I'm telling you when a deer is shot in the guts you can smell him from a hundred yards". Now my buddy and I are both trying to smell it...then the stench hit us. The old timer laughed his ass off.
We had been had.


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