# Hey, I just had an idea !



## jpollman

After reading all the posts by people complaining about the 20+" of ice around here lately I just thought of a money making venture.

Maybe this weekend I'll just take the old power auger out and walk around the lake with it. I'll put a sign on my back to read :

* .50 a hole 
5 for $2*

I should be able to make a pretty penny in a weekend !


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## chromium

No.................I can't.


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## ESOX

LOL Chromium............

You had best bring your kneepads JP.


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## William H Bonney

I wouldn't put that sign on your "back"! lol

Some people might interperet that the wrong way, either that or word it differently.

I wouldn't want you to end up on "JohnsTV" and have you're auger impounded. LOL


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## Fishfoote

LMAO


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## jeremy L

that was great William H Bonney, it was one of the funniest play on words i have ever heard!


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## higherpowered

I would have thought you'd been visiting this site and posting long enough by now to know you've gotta proof-read your post AT LEAST twice before hitting that 'submit' button. Or were you just trying to get 'em going? I'm not gonna jump on this band wagon cuz you're my friend but I can't wait to read what's coming!


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## unregistered55

"Kick Me Please"....ROTFLMAO!!!!


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## quest32a

too funny!!!! i think this should be moved to the comedy forum


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## hangoo

that cracks me up!!


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## patcheroo

Hey for that price I'll take 10. I'll just leave the Jiffy in the truck. Hope you have a heated shanty!


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## MichiganMike5

LMAO! Too Funny!!!
Be safe JP, remember the "Auger Covers" !


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## moonbeam

Myself and a few sisters from Sister of Heavenly Deeds are planning an ice fishing outing near the Metro Detroit area.
We are funded in part, by M. Jackson Foundation so we are, always in need.
We plan on having over forty of Gods children out that day.
The Sisters have the means to punch holes, butt we could use your guidance and we would most surely pay you for your time.
Can we get a group rate on holes? It would be an annual thing if it turned out to be fun.
How big is your auger if you don't mind telling me?
Thanks 
Sister Mary Moonbeam


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## MichiganMike5

And they say size don't matter


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## unregistered55

Oh boy...When the old "Budster" gets home he is gonna "beat some a$$"....LMAO!!!!!


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## jpollman

I guess you're right..... I should have thought it out more and reworded it a bit.   

I made that post just before I headed out the door for an appointment.

Oh well, I got a laugh out of it too.


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## flyrod4steelhead

ROTFLMAO. This is too funny.


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## Thunderhead

Ya gotta kiss me first sweety LMAO


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## jpollman

Even though I am the BUTT of the joke, I'm still getting a laugh out of it !


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## ZobZob

I'd give you $2 per hole!

It takes me all week to recover from how thick that ice is now.

Zob


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## Backlash

These laughs are as good as an outing full of humor.


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## Thunderhead

jpollman, Seriously tho, it is a good idea. The last time I was out, I set down my brand new 8in. Strikemaster after 10 minutes of drilling, and offered to pay the guy next to me to knock me out a couple of holes. He declined the offer of pay and kindly drilled me 5 holes. Nevertheless, I'd of been MORE than happy to pay a buck a hole.


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## jpollman

I guess my wording could have been a little better on the original post. But I don't think it's a half bad idea either. You don't need to "make a killing". But heck seriously, I think .50 a hole would be fair and in times like this when there is LOTS of ice I bet you could make a few bucks. I'm sure you'd run into people who'd be more than happy to pay you a reasonable amount to punch them 5 or 10 holes.

When I do go out, I usually drill about 6-8 holes in a widespread pattern. Then I just fish between them. If I don't get any results, I'll move a bit and put in another 6 or 8.

I can just picture it, kinda dressed like the "Good Humor Man" with a little change maker on your belt walking around the lake popping holes.


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## patcheroo

The " Good Humor Man " walking around the lake popping holes.  Now you're Killin' me man!!!!!!


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## MichiganMike5

lol..."Momas got a Squeezebox and Daddy...umm, well Daddys got an Auger, Change Maker and a Funky White Hat!"


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## Dave Simmons




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## Fishfoote

I've had guys come over to the shanty and offer me a beer for cutting some wholes - have auger will travel.


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## jpollman

MM5,


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## higherpowered

now I can't resist. 20" of ice ain't nothing compared to the hole you dug! I think you go out there dressed like the Good Humor Man with that sign on your back and there's gonna be 3 or 4 other guys in white suits out there coming to take you away, ho ho, ha ha, hee hee........!


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## Happy Jack

There was a guy at Tip Up Town AUGERING holes at 50 cents a pop back in the mid 70s. With the price of gas today you should get a couple bucks anyway. I hear they get a lot more down around 8 mile in Detroit.


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## garyrodbender

Way to funny! LMAO! And I thought George Carlin was funny


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## jpollman

I was thinking about this thread the other night. I did a search and found it. I read the whole thing again and I've gotta tell ya, it's one of the funniest threads we've had on this forum. I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes and my sides hurt. Ok, maybe it was just the mood I was in but you've got to admit this thread is pretty funny.

I know that I'm the butt of the joke and should have thought it through a little better or reworded it a bit BEFORE I submitted it. But heck, I'm not proud. I can laugh at it too.


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## gamalot

Thanks JP,
So my wife wants to know what I am doing here on the computer and laughing so much about!
Don,t you know she clicks on this thread.
After about 15 minutes of reading and not a giggle from her she turns and says, Totally straight faced, "Are there really guys who do that"????

Talk about missing the point!
You are the best JP and now when ever she comes fishing with me she will be looking for you prancing around and wondering what this world is comming to.

I just can't bring myself to explain it any deeper and can't wait till she is on the ice and says, "Is that Him"!

Gary


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## Ruler

> _Originally posted by gamalot _
> *I just can't bring myself to explain it any deeper and can't wait till she is on the ice and says, "Is that Him"!*


Your wife wouldn't happen to be blond would she?


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## gamalot

No blond at all ! I think she just read it too fast or missed a part and it was so funny when she said it I was rolling off my chair and then she gets POed at me.
I thought JP would get a kick out of it being a good sport and all


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## skulldugary

This stuff is too funny.


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## MichiganMike5

I remember this post as hillarious too, I think moonbeams post is the one that had me sprayin coffee outta my nose when I hit the "Auger Size?" line at the end. LOL


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## NEMichsportsman

Missed it the first time around!!!!!!!!!!!


Got my laugh for the day....thanks Budster


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## jpollman

That's why I brought it to the top Joel. There are a lot of people that missed it the first time. When I read it again, I laughed so hard my sides hurt. I figured some out there might need a lift.


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## Michigan Birdhunter

This was great!! Only an honest mistake could be so funny. I was reading the posts with a big smile until I read MichMike5's post and I couldn't hold it back any longer. I had tears running down my cheeks. Thanks for a great thread. Funky White Hat!!! LMAO


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## jpollman

Oh Geez, I've just gotta bring this one back to the top. I ran accross it again and reread the whole thing. I laughed so hard I just about made myself sick. I guess this should be an annual thing to usher in the ice season. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Enjoy folks and fire away. I can take it. 

John


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## frznFinn

how about changing your screen name to- the Good Humor M :lol: an!


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## walleyechaser

I hope Ozzgood doesn't see this. He might confuse it with a Right of Passage.
LMAO :lol:


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## Frozenfish

William H Bonney said:


> I wouldn't put that sign on your "back"! lol
> 
> Some people might interperet that the wrong way, either that or word it differently.
> 
> I wouldn't want you to end up on "JohnsTV" and have you're auger impounded. LOL


ROTFLMFAO!!!!! This has to be one of the top 10 quotes on this site. Hey, that would make a good shanty/blind reader. MS.com best threads.


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## RichP

It's been a couple of years now. What with inflation, can a fella still get one of JPollman's holes for 50 cents or does it cost more now?


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## salmonslammer

> can a fella still get one of JPollman's holes for 50 cents





Might want to send him a PM on that one.... :yikes: :xzicon_sm :evil: I hear he's a cheap date!!


Just, please, for the love of God,......NO PICS!!!


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## dinoday

I don't know if the ice is thick enough to charge yet,but you might be able to get some change if you take over "milking" duties  :lol: 

First time I've seen this thread....good one :chillin:


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## trouttime

dinoday said:


> I don't know if the ice is thick enough to charge yet,but you might be able to get some change if you take over "milking" duties  :lol:
> 
> First time I've seen this thread....good one :chillin:



Beat me to it!!!!!!!!!!! 

Hey,
If John bored a hole the milk might come out faster :yikes: :lol:

Oh yea,
and at one time John was going to sell ME those augers :rant:

Glad I got a lazer after reading this J/K John


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## Michigan Mike

RichP said:


> It's been a couple of years now. What with inflation, can a fella still get one of JPollman's holes for 50 cents or does it cost more now?


*I'm not quite sure, but I think he might be charging by the inch!*
:lol: 

*Mike*


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## RichP

Michigan Mike said:


> *I'm not quite sure, but I think he might be charging by the inch!*
> :lol:
> 
> *Mike*


LOL, this thread is so wrong, JPollman I can't believe you keep digging it up every year. :lol:


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## jpollman

RichP said:


> LOL, this thread is so wrong, JPollman I can't believe you keep digging it up every year. :lol:


I know. I can't figure it out either. But I tell ya, some of the replies have been priceless ! This has got to be one of the funniest threads I've seen yet on the site. :lol: 

John


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## limige

lol, too funny, glad you kept it up....

btw, i think there's a ton to be made if you can go without fishing. drilling holes, selling snacks/coffee ect.


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## Brownsdown

after payment do you require spooning LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO:yikes: good luck hope you dont get the wrong kind of takers.............


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## funebonz880

Michigan Mike said:


> *I'm not quite sure, but I think he might be charging by the inch!*
> :lol:
> 
> *Mike*


 
Wouldn't he be selling himself short that way??


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## TheApprentice

JP upon reading your original post I thought we had a new generation of ICE PROSTIDUDES on our hands. I guess some guys could get a little lonely out on the ice and for $.50 you can't really go wrong. Instead of calling you a lot lizzard your new nickname on here should be the HOLE GIVER. 

So, what is the union scale for being a HOLE GIVER in this region? I could see it now a whole fleet of snowmobiles with the name HOLE GIVERS on the side riding around on the lakes with their gas powered augers. In all seriousness, I bet you could get a lot of business when the ice is thick. I bet you there would be one yahoo in the bunch that would try to get you for false advertising when he did not get the hole he thought he was going to get. LOL!!!!!!!!!!! 

Good luck with your future career JP. I hope it works out for you. I bet by now you are ready to retire as I am sure you are very sore and your body is getting worn out from all of the hole giving you have been doing. Sorry about you being the butt end of the joke JP, but I could not help myself man. I sure hope you have a sense of humor, because if not I am sure you will be looking for me out on the ice. Have a great season bro!

Ryan


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## jpollman

Ryan,

believe me I have a sense of humor.  If I didn't there's NO WAY I'd have brought this back to the top. :lol: :lol:


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## wild bill

sorry jpollman but i just had to bring this one back to the top.:lol:


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## DonP

... not this one again!! :lol:


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## Jigawhat

1st time I've seen this. Too funny! :lol:


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## Chawazz

Thanks for bringing this back for us newbies . . . 

Although I'm concerned about what my co-workers think as I'm LMAO eatin' lunch in my office.

Great post:lol:


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## mjmmusser

Just came across this legendary thread again.

Jpollman, you need to change your sig to "$.50, we'll prime it , choke it, and poke it! Then for good measure and your pleasure, we'll clean it out."


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## Marrble Eyes

William H Bonney said:


> The part that sets me off is the Funky White Hat,,,,,,, all I can picture is that episode of Seinfeld. Where Kramer borrows that coat from the production of Joseph And The Technocolor Dreamcoat,, he has that cane and finds that white hat blowing down the street. Then that "music" starts playin' and Kramer starts that "strut" down the street. :lol:












"Iam off to Saginaw Bay to check up on my holes. "


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## William H Bonney

Marrble Eyes said:


> "Iam off to Saginaw Bay to check up on my holes. "


Ahhhh,, yes....... there it is. :lol:Now if only someone could photoshop an auger in his hand in place of that cane.:lol:


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## stickem

ya gottta add "group rates avalible"..id "poke" around with that ideal..er "drill" 2 get 1 free:lol::lol::lol:


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## rico1391

Well, isn't it about that time again? I think we've got just about enough ice up here in the UP that it's time for your "services".....


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## GOTONE

Funny :lol::lol::lol:


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## trouttime

rico1391 said:


> I think we've got just about enough ice up here in the UP that it's time for your "services".....


Wife issues?


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## jpollman

Oh geez just the other day I was thinking about this thread and wondering if it would be resurrected or not. 

John


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## chuckwagon157

and it was


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## rico1391

trouttime said:


> Wife issues?


nope, i was just thinking with all the college kids up here he might be able to make a few dollars, lol


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## Ferris_StateHunter

rico1391 said:


> nope, i was just thinking with all the college kids up here he might be able to make a few dollars, lol


I'll do some crazy things to make some money, but I am not drilling anyones holes this season


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## bucknduck

True Classic!


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## basskiller46

In the front make a sign for the wunder boner :lol:


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## casscityalum

haha just read it again still laughin


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## FlyFishingAttorney

To the top:lol:


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## trouttime

Hey John,
Does the Good Humor Man now include a Michigan Sportsman Decal Got my Hole Popped by J Pollman?


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## MichiganMike5

Wow! Talk about a Blast from the Past! Havent seen this thread in years!
Just read through the past *Six Years* of replies and was shocked to see that, back in '07 you "Sold your Auger"! Gotta feel for the poor sap that thought he was gettin a bargain on a "Gently used Auger" at the time. What'd ya tell him... "It was carefully driven by a kindly old gentleman back 'N forth to church only on Sundays?!?! Wasn't he even curious why ya had to sell it with a Salvaged title? If my math is correct... Ya started yer "Hole poundin Buisness" in '03 and had that same "auger" til ya sold it in '07 !!! *4 SOLID YEARS* of what can olny be reffered to as "Commercial Use"! Not only amazing that it was still in one piece, but that it even resembled something that might be capable of "Poundin Holes". I'd hate to imagine what the poor guy was workin with before he "Upgraded" to yer used "auger".


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## Jigster

I'd shy away from the Saugatauk area though, you may get more bites than you can handle!


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## DonP

I thought that in honor of our beloved Mr. JPollman.... 

I thought I would bring this one back to the top for our newer members.

Enjoy everyone!!  :lol:

Sorry John.... had to do it!!! :evil:


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## jpollman

As soon as I saw the Perch milking thread, I knew this one would resurface shortly. :lol:

Heck I can laugh at myself. I'm not proud. 

John


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## kcud rellik

So, how's business going? 

Just out of curiosity, what's your average time per hole? Does the 5 for $2 include spooning eerrrr scooping each hole too?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## triplelunger

Come on over to the west side, and I'll take you up on the offer. But I insist I use my own 10 inch Strikemaster! 
Is there a scoop out service included?


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## jpollman

Took a little longer into the season before this one surfaced again. :lol:

John


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## kcud rellik

Someone mentioned renting an auger int the chemung outing thread and I couldn't resist diggin this one back up! Thanks for all the laughs year after year!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jpollman

That's OK, I don't mind being the BUTT of the joke. :evil:
I've gotta say that I've reread this entire thread a few times and had some really good laughs. There were some GREAT replies!

John


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## foxfire69

The post that cost a Nun her virginity!!


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## jpollman

Holy cow!

This has got to be one of the longest running threads on the site, it's almost *EIGHT* years old! I didn't think it was that old but just went back to page one and I started it on 3/3/03.


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## feedinggrounds

Glad to see the price has not went up like every thing else 8 years is a long time might want to factor in COLA!


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## trouttime

feedinggrounds said:


> Glad to see the price has not went up like every thing else 8 years is a long time might want to factor in COLA!


What....COLA? Cost of Lubricating Auger?  :lol:


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## DonP

In honor of John's join date anniversary... bringing this one back to the top.

A good laugh for all of the new members!!!


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## Anish

Been on here for 4 years and I dont know how the h*** I missed this thread? Been reading it from the beginning and I have been laughing so hard that my sides hurt! :lol::lol::lol:
Thanks for being such a good sport John! :lol:


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## itchn2fish

I shall keep my eyes open for the shanty with the glory hole cut in it:yikes:


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## TrekJeff

After this cold front there should be plenty of virgin surface for cutting:yikes:


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## William H Bonney

Yes,, it's that time of year again. :evil:


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